A few months ago I came up with this idea to do a summer reading book review vlog, and that it would be fun to do it poolside. I'd already ordered a new bathing suit with the idea that if I was ever going to get to the beach or into a pool this summer, buying a suit I liked was a good first step. And doing the vlog insured that I'd at least wear it for something.
It's a two-piece for the simple reason that I am all about the swim shorts. For years I did the whole bikini area shaving/fight the horrid razor burn insanity. At one point I was all about the waxing, but hello, $$$. Now I use an electric razor: Trim Enough for Swim Shorts. And shorts mean two pieces.
I don't like suits where I have to obsess about the bikini area, I don't like suits with skirts (because hello, you still have to obsess about The Area), and I don't like two-piece suits with belly flaps that inevitably ride up and say, "Hey, I'm trying to hide this belly incredibly ineffectually!"
Hence: swim shorts. Sporty top. Note about that top: Although it is rather low cut, it is completely secure. I can jump around, do cartwheels, play volleyball, whatever. The suit is from Athleta, in case you're interested. They have all kinds of styles, including shorts.
So, I knew what I wanted to do, but I felt really whiny about the fact that I live in a complex with a public pool. I mean, in Florida, I'd have at least ten people with pools to go do it in someone's backyard. How was I going to do this in my complex?
Luckily, it's L.A., so on a Friday when I didn't have to work, I knew working people would be gone by 9:15am and no one else would be awake. It was already the end of June, and the review needed to happen. Cue the Mission: Impossible theme, please.
I was literally in the courtyard for under 15 minutes. And in that time, I wasn't thinking about anything but what I was going to say and getting it in one shot with some coherency. When I was done, I literally scooped up my stuff and bee-lined back to my apartment. It was probably comical. I totally dropped my keys. I didn't even put anything back in my bag; I just scooped and vacated the area.
Sitting down to watch the footage, I immediately saw: The Belly. OMG
I also said "film" once when I should have said "book." But by the time I got it pulled in and watched it, it was 10am. By the time I noticed the book/movie flub, it was 10:30am. So I'm sitting at my computer trying to decide if I should give it another go - when someone might actually be out there - and somehow show some concern about my appearance.
But what was I going to do? Throw on a T-shirt? The whole point was to look poolside! The whole point was to just be me at the pool looking like a normal person.
And while I was being terrified about it - am I insane to put this up on YouTube??? - I realized that I literally felt like if I didn't look like a swimsuit model, I shouldn't be seen or heard. That's crazy!
I mean, if I was some schlubby looking guy in a bathsuit doing some poolside review, it would be funny or just some guy. Someone might comment, but most likely most people wouldn't think he had no place doing it.
Little bit of gut on a guy, who cares?
Swim shorts on a guy, for that matter. The average man doesn't think that he should wear a suit that requires him to shave smooth right up to the good bits. Which, btw, really sucks for some of us.
And, I thought it came out OK, besides the fact that I've got a little belly going on and I flubbed one word. I mean, I think I look fine when I stand up.
And I've just started working out again, but you know what? That's so not even firstly about the belly. It's primarily about the fact that I used to be really strong and now I'm not. Losing some belly is nice, and I'll be really happy about it, but an easier time with my groceries and the ability to move my own boxes is key.
And this is what I look like.
I feel OK with it.
I think a lot of people look like me.
So I put it up. And I just hoped that it wasn't a mistake. But I also figured that if some people thought that it was, or were mortified even more than me at my belly, I really didn't care.
And I was so focused on my belly, that I really didn't give the busty aspect much thought at all except to think, "Well, heck, at least my breasts look good." LOL
You know, it's fine if you think it's sexy, because humans are sexy. Our bodies are sexy. That's cool. And thank you!
But ultimately, it's just a normal woman, sitting by the pool, talking about some books. In a bathing suit that she finds most comfortable.
And I really hope, if it's at all possible, that someday that's not "brave," that's just life.
I freakin' loved it! Just another girl like me sitting by the pool talking about a cool book (in movie terms no less). You look fantastic and are SO not brave for just being yourself :-)
Posted by: Dating Trooper | June 28, 2008 at 10:44 PM
I think you looked fine, and that was a cool way to do a review and make it a bit different.
Posted by: Avitable | June 29, 2008 at 04:52 AM
You should add your link to the post Suzanne did last night for the swimsuit brigade!
Posted by: Denise | June 29, 2008 at 05:24 AM
I agree with Dating Trooper! Look, most adult women aren't 5'10 and weight 125 lbs (even if it seems like it in LA!). Being comfortable as yourself is key to getting through this crazy world. You did a great job. Very cool idea!
Posted by: Lara | June 29, 2008 at 06:50 AM
Dating Trooper - LOL Thanks!
Avitable - I was hoping it gave it a bit of a visual spin. :)
Denise - Excellent idea. Done.
Lara - Thanks. I'm getting more comfortable with myself everyday, which is pretty cool.
Posted by: Liz | June 29, 2008 at 08:30 AM
I liked your last two paragraphs. You're absolutely right. :)
Posted by: Zandria | June 29, 2008 at 05:56 PM
I think you looked FAB-ulous! And I am going to check out those books, to boot!
Posted by: Amy | June 30, 2008 at 07:37 AM
Hilarious! You make something "brave" or "just life", not others. The good thing is that we do all come in different shapes, sizes, etc. I don't want to look like the girl in the Vicky magazine, but I give her props for how she looks. Keep sitting by the pool, girl!
Posted by: VeRonda | June 30, 2008 at 02:49 PM
You are truly an everyday goddess for doing this. And, hello! I totally worship swim shorts. I don't even have to shave my thighs, let along my bikini area. Minnie (at Thank you for not being perky) suggested it to me a few years ago, and I will never go back.
Posted by: Suzanne | June 30, 2008 at 04:09 PM
Zandria - Hooray for normal, everyday goddesses!
Amy - Thanks! And I think you'd like every one of those books, too.
VeRonda - Excellent point. I'm definitely not saying we all can't appreciate Angelina Jolie. ;)
Suzanne - I'm thinking swim short pic by the hotel pool at BlogHer???
Posted by: Liz | June 30, 2008 at 09:50 PM
ohmyGAWD, will you STOP???
There. Is. Nothing. Wrong. With. Your. Stomach.
Jesus!
Posted by: ~Michelle~ | July 18, 2008 at 03:10 AM
Well, I beg to differ a little bit. I don't think it makes me heinously ugly, but it does represent too much beer and pizza and not enough exercise. I'd like to lose ten pounds and firm up, so I'm working on that through the end of the year. :)
Posted by: Liz | July 22, 2008 at 07:47 AM