This post is crossposted at BlogHer.
How many compliments did you pay today? This week? This month?
Giving compliments is something I do naturally and sincerely. And when I think about it, I have no idea where I picked up the habit. I just know that it's such an easy way to spread a little joy and let people know what rocks about them in a given moment, be it something about their physical appearance or something they've accomplished. Even those who have difficulty accepting compliments feel better for having gotten one, I'd guess.
If you don't freely and regularly give compliments, I've been beginning to wonder why. I've observed that sometimes it seems to be a type of control and perhaps symptomatic of personal insecurity. If you don't freely and regularly give compliments, I think you should start. Release that sense control you get by not complimenting people when you know it would make their day, and particularly when you know it would touch them to hear something nice from you.
Start paying compliments today. Even if it feels false or forced.
Because I don't believe that in a day you don't come across at least one moment where you think something nice about someone. Now you just have to verbalize it.
Go ahead, bring the rock and joy. I suspect it may release something inside you that you've been needing to let go of. If you never pay compliments and you start, I suspect it may flip a personal light switch.
At the very least, it will light up someone else's room.
And what's with the weak handshake? Why do people do that?
You can practice with your friends, you know. I did. My sorority sisters and I practiced our handshakes on each other. Firm grasp, double shake, and sometimes, yeah, I go for the second hand clasp. I'm confident *and* warm, what can I say?
I gotta tell you, the weak handshake is a complete mystery to me. Total weirdness.
So stop it! Take your handshake in hand and own it.
And finally, HUGS! I went to a party recently where everyone was supposed to bring their "gift," be it a poem or a dish or a reading... or really good hugs. I got some amazing hugs at that party.
The thing about hugs for me is that I don't come from a physically affectionate family. I was uncomfortable with hugs hello and goodbye for a very long time. (Don't even get me started about learning to, like, jump up and be foolish and fool around.)
Again, I think it was in undergrad, but maybe right after, when I decided that I wanted to become comfortable with hugs. It took saying, "I'm hugging now!" to friends who knew it made me uncomfortable. Thankfully, they were up to the task at hand, and today I'm a pretty darn comfortable hugger.
It's tricky, hugging. Usually, it's just done, so I do worry that sometimes people are uncomfortable. Or simply playing along with something they don't particularly enjoy. You know, in this instance, just like I declared, "I'm hugging now!" I think you should declare, "I'm not a hugger!" Stand up for yourself; it's cool.
But if you're in the market for hug, baby, I got your hug right here. Practice makes perfect, after all.
Sincere Compliments, Firm Handshakes, and Warm Hugs: Go Forth and Bring the Rock and Joy.
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Linky goodness:
Learning how to accept a compliment... - from Laura at A Work in Progress, a great little post about giving and receiving compliments.
10 Rules to Follow When Meeting People at Events - from Jason on Networking Insight, a good rundown of solid networking tips. "Don't interrupt" is my personal ongoing challenge!
Pretty Sure I Have The BEST Husband In The WORLD!! - a wonderfully joyous post from Tara on The Black Blog. Oh yeah, you know that "he gives the best hugs" is on her list of why her husband rocks.
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