Internet Hate - Not So Much With the Relevance of Anonymity

It's accepted as truth: It's the potential anonymity of Internet communication that breeds the ugly comment threads, the virulent attacks, the hate. We blame the instrument.

Bullshit.

I had a realization while commenting on this post from A.V. Flox: The Night We Live-Tweeted The Suicide of A Desperate Man. The people who were twitting BS during that high speed chase and stand off weren't doing anything they wouldn't be doing IRL, and lots of people aren't anonymous on Twitter. It's just that you can deny or ignore or forget what you spout out of your mouth in a bar, while text on the Internet has the potential to live forever. It has the weight of the written word.

But they still would have said it. Or thought it.

When it comes to hate on the Internet, I'll give you a little mob mentality energy, and I'll even give you some influence from anonymity when applicable, but for the most part, if some loser spews some racist BS on the Internet, it's because they're a damn racist. If they are totally polite out in society, what the heck difference does that make?

Sexists, Homophobes, Et cetera, Et cetera.

In the (thankfully few) times that I have been personally mocked and/or attacked on the Internet, anonymity didn't really play a part. It was more about what some people think is funny. It was about who the people doing the mocking are and what they believe and how they perceive and receive people who aren't like them. And of course, there's often a big dash of who-do-you-think-you-are-how-dare-you-express-yourself-or-stand-up-for-yourself-or-your-rights. And the assumptions and stereotypes that people jump to are often mind-blowingly frustrating and difficult to grok.

Let's face it, we all have to struggle to understand worlds that are different from our own. It's just that some of us are more open to trying.

The only thing that can really stop the hate and ignorance and so often simple thoughtlessness on the Internet is to deal with the hate and the ignorance and thoughtlessness. I do that by standing up. I do that by being me and being here and not going away. I do that by not finding it acceptable and expressing myself when I can.

BlogHer, as an example, does its part by having community guidelines. It's not about disagreeing on our beliefs; it's about how we express ourselves to each other. It's about how we treat one another. How we come at each other, right out of the gate. Online communities have a choice to demand respectful communication or not. They can choose to create an environment that fosters thoughtfulness or at least a basic level of civility.

It's my personal belief that community guidelines encourage more open communication from a wider variety of folks (which is awesome!); whereas letting the hate fly silences all but the haters and the strongest - or maybe just most perversely determined to stand up in the fray - of the rest of us (which is sucky).

It's not, however, a question of anonymity. You can be anonymous on BlogHer, and you can express your opinions, whatever they be. You've just got to check your hate.

And I believe that when people have to check their hate to participate in a community, and they enter a place where many different voices are raised, then sometimes they are able to see a wider world. And sometimes they change and their minds become more open, even just the tiniest bit. And sometimes they are then able to see individuals instead of the stereotypes.

Which, btw, is something I think is going to more and more important as humanity moves forward. We're none of us exactly the same. It's time we started treating that with a little respect.

And maybe even a little celebration. Anonymous or no.

Comments

[AV Flox]

Very thoughtful post and very good points. But I'm not entirely sure that the web's presentation of events and the shroud of anonymity don't have something to do with it. I won't say these two things cause the behavior, but it feels to me that the web can catalyze the objectification of a person and anonymity, as well as an entirely digital transmission of expression, can act as disinhibitors.

[Liz]

AV Flox - I do think it's a factor at times, just not the most relevant factor. And I'm not sure that point *matters* as much as the fact that someone thinks something so horrible is actually funny. Someone like that is just looking for ways to be disinhibited, I think. I wonder how often they find it IRL, too.