I think I've been doing fairly well since being laid off in June. I've been very productive, both personally and as much as possible professionally. I've been on job interviews, I've been networking my heart out, I've been getting things done around my world.
Every Monday I wake up having accomplished a ton of things the previous week, having had a full weekend, and wanting to plow through an ambitious list of things to do. Only to find I'm roaring with anxiety or wallowing in melancholy.
Then Tuesday I wake up and it's gone and I'm off to the races again. It's 8am, and I've been working since 5:30am.
I think the negativity comes when it's Monday morning and I'm not heading off to work. I really like working for the man, it seems. I've had a smattering of miscellaneous free-lance opportunities come my way, and truth be told, it's not for me. I fight feeling scattered and unfocused, and I think trying to construct a life of disconnected income situations would only exacerbate that.
No, I am an executive assistant, I am a blogger, I could be something webby like an online community manager, and I am a director. I don't want any more professional titles than that, and I want someone to work for, and I want a paycheck I can count on.
I think it's also that my New Year's resolution was no new debt, and the tide is quickly beginning to turn on that one. I can't throw caution and my life to the wind. It's all on me, and I intend to be here for a while. Which means that I have to try to mind my finances and at least try to have a positive net worth before I die. When I think about sliding backwards again, I just want to die. And yet, things have come up that I don't want to miss and that I think will be good for me to attend, careerwise, so here I go again. I'm trying to make the best decisions I can and somehow not let this time suck another year from me in either missed opportunities or debt that's going to backslide me by the years it will take to catch back up to where I am now.
Time and money. Time and money. If you have them, and you aren't being all you can be, I'm here to tell you that you suck. Get off your ass and use your advantages.
I typed this early yesterday morning as my status update: "Up and at 'em this fine Monday morning. It's going to be a great week! Much to do."
Well, it *is* going to be a great week. But I'm glad the Monday part is over.