The Long and the Short of Life.

Perspective. Is a fascinating thing.

I've been thinking about one particular aspect of perspective ever since I watched (and loved) "Up In The Air." The scene that has my brain gerbils running on overdrive, is the scene where Ryan and Alex sit across from Natalie in the middle of an airport, and Alex and Natalie discuss what they look for in a man.

Now, there is something about scenes where people sit and talk that I love nine ways from Sunday, both as a viewer and as a director. Somewhere inside me, I always feel like, OK, Now we can get to the meat of it. And if you can make a sitting down and talking scene sing, you are golden.

Adding to my fascination is that during a panel at the Film Independent Directors Closeup, Jason Reitman said that this scene is his favorite scene he has EVER written and directed. I mean, seriously, wow.

Because I think that this scene really does stand out in the film, and I think it's a really tricky scene. I watched "Up In The Air" with three of my most favorite friends, all of whom are in their 20s, and my friend Amanda said after that she didn't quite get what Alex was saying. I did, to some extent, and I am in my 30s. But the fact remains, it's a tricky scene. I'm not sure if it does completely communicate what it's trying to, because I'm not sure that it ever fully could.

(And I just have to say right here that if your man can't handle that you make more than him or that you are more successful, please, by all that is good in the universe, he needs to get over it, or you need to fly. Re-Dunk is what that is. By the way, this is an EXCELLENT reason to date younger men who are more likely not to have these hang-ups.)

Away, after the movie, I tried to explain my perspective to my friend, and it was interesting because I am the Alex, right, and she is the Natalie. In terms of age, anyway. I did love in the scene that Alex talked about height, because that is an excellent example. I used to care about height, and now that I'm older and have dated A LOT of different men, wow, I could totally care less. And it is actually amazing to me that's it's got nothing to do with settling or desperation or any of the things I thought when I was younger. I mean, it's just completely irrelevant because OMG the things that matter more are SO much more important. (Plus, there are sexual benefits to being with a man who's the same height as you. I'm just saying.)

That's what you learn with age, and your perspective changes. But if you're 22 and you're reading this right now, there's still a difference between intellectually understanding what I'm saying, and the way it feels when you get there. That's what's almost impossible to explain. How your perspective completely changes.

It's great, btw, when you get there. It feels GREAT to really have a sense of who you fully are and what is important to you in the world.

But all that up there that I've just said is a lot of words, and my brain gerbils kept trying to distill it down. Something FEELS different between your 20s and your 30s, and it's big, and I've been fascinated by it for a long time.

Finally, I realized: Life feels SHORT when you're in your 20s and LONG when you're in your 30s.

For some reason, which likely has a lot to do with the way our culture holds up youth as the end-all be-all, people freak out in their late 20s. OMG CHILDREN. OMG MARRIAGE. OMG CAREER. OMG OMG OMG.

Then you turn 30, and you're like, Hey... Wait A Minute... I've got another TEN YEARS for ALL that stuff. Only now, I have more money (hopefully) and more of a sense of who I am and what I want. This decade ROCKS.

And then I thought that life feels LONG when you're a teenager - like you'll never get to be a grown-up, right? And THAT made me wonder if life feels SHORT when you're in your 40s. Like OK, now it's time to buckle down while I've still got some of that youthful energy. Now's the time to make things really happen, if you haven't already, before you hit 50. I think that maybe be true, because I kinda feel it coming on like that.

I've got a little under two years to go to 40, so when I get there, I'll let you know.

Comments

[misskate]

That was the scene in the movie that totally made it worth the price of admission. When I recommend it to other people, that's the scene I point out. It's a great film, I enjoyed it so much more than I thought I would (my mom told me it was a romantic comedy; the two words that make me NOT want to see a film) for a lot of reasons, but that scene is what sticks out for why it's great and not just a good movie.

[lizriz]

It is amazingly powerful how that scene sticks with you. Three people sitting down, talking about life. Love it.