This may be the geekiest thing I've ever done, but I thought this was beautiful, so I saved it on my Tivo and I just finally transcribed it. Would I use it in my wedding? Yes, yes I would, although I present it here with the scripted asides and character names. The Biscuit, I mean Dr. Larry Fleinhardt, performs the ceremony:
At the request of the bride and groom, I’ll keep my remarks short and not technical. Well, as you all know, the four fundamental forces of physics: electromagnetism, strong nuclear interaction, weak nuclear interaction, and gravity.
(Colby Granger - So I wonder what the technical version sounds like?)
(Dr. Larry Fleinhardt - I heard that.)
We’ve been talking here about the forces that bind the universe. But what binds humans? Love.
Powerful in small spaces, yet with profound effect on distance. Love defies time, outliving both its source, and its object. Love is faster than light, for light requires time in order to travel through space. But love reaches its object instantaneously.
Love journeys forever, into infinity. And it’s here, binding together two lives.
Can we have the rings? Symbolic of eternity, and rendered in a beautiful element.
Amita Ramanujan, do you take Charles Edward Eppes to be your husband? (Yes, I do.) Charles Edward Eppes, do you take Amita Ramanujan to be your wife? (I do.)
I pronounce you: husband and wife.
OK, it would actually be one degree geekyfunnier to 1. Use this in your wedding, and 2. Cast someone to deliver the Colby Granger line.