Beware the Man Shrew

So I used to think we'd eventually move to gender-neutral language. But it's clunky, right?

I mean, I'm proponent of using the plural rather than he/she, and even that rather obvious and perfectly functional solution meets with resistance. We're never going to move organically to new words just to be gender neutral. I mean, OK: mail carrier, flight attendant, but it's not always so easy.

And then I watched Battlestar Galactica, and experienced a world with equality where everyone uses "sir" - for men and women. I liked it. It works.

What a relief, too, because there are a number of masculine phrases that there's just no adequate substitute for.

Man up.

Rub one out.

You don't have the balls.

There are some attempts to create feminine equivalents, but I don't want to say "you don't have the ovaries," I want to say, "OMG, grow a pair." OF BALLS.

I resolved to start using these phrases indiscriminately, as I please.

Then I started to think what feminine phrases or words can we do the same thing to? Realizing that most female-oriented phrases and words are going to be negative, and so perhaps less naturally adapted. And you know I'm not a fan of the word, "bitch." Reclaim it if it works for you; I try not to use it.

So today, I'm going to propose the gender-neutral adaptation of the word SHREW.

Merriam-Webster defines "shrew" (beyond the actual animal) thusly: "an ill-tempered scolding woman." So, gender-specific.

But come on, you know that guy. He thinks the world revolves around him, his opinion, and his temper. When shrew-boy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. You'd better jump to or feel the wrath. I bet everyone on the planet knows at least one guy who's a total SHREW.

So why is "shrew" gender specific? Exactly because we judge a female shrew, but we excuse and/or cater to a male shrew. I think the mere adapation of the word "shrew" for temper-prone men really changes the perspective. Next time you encounter an habitually ill-tempered man remember: Total Shrew.

Beware the man shrew, my friends. And call him by name.