Basket: Check; Eggs: You know it.

I've always been one to go all in if I see a chance for success. It's how I work best, truth be told.

When I was working on my last directing gig, one of the producers asked me what else I had going on, and I swear I stammered like an idiot. I didn't know what to say. Not because I didn't have other projects simmering, but because at that moment the project at hand was the only thing in my mind. Next time I will manage to communicate that clearly and with strength of conviction in who I am and the choices I make.

You hire me to direct; I'm leaving and breathing that project from the moment preproduction begins. Yes, someday I'm going to desperately need a manager and an agent, or I'll never manage to roll right into another project.

The thing about eggs in the basket is that it requires a certain degree of hope and a belief that things will work out. Rock even. That happiness and success are right around the corner.

Perhaps that's why I persist in my egg counting and single basketing. Because it is strong medicine for the exact thing that the entertainment business can rob you of. You learn to never count chickens, never only have one thing going on, never celebrate, to hardly ever allow yourself to feel the bliss of success - Just in case it all gets pulled out from under you. Just in case the deal falls through or somebody dicks you. That's a major reason why winning an Oscar or an Emmy or any sort of entertainment award rocks so hard. Sure, there's a million reasons it rocks to win an award, but I'm pretty positive that one of them is that for one moment in time most of those people let themselves feel the bliss of success. Allow themselve to breath and believe and be happy. In Hollywood, that moment can be a rare thing.

Now, I'm not saying I don't have multiple projects out in the ether in various stages of development. I definitely do. But given a good-looking basket, baby, I gather up my eggs, fill it up, and go all in.

The other part is harder. SO much harder. Having the hope. Allowing yourself to believe - again and again - that whatever you're working on or hoping for really could happen and it's going to rock. Allowing yourself to feel happy without playing it cool or holding part of yourself back just in case everything blows up in your face.

I'm so sick of that check. I'm convinced it kills your soul and has a negative effect on your creative work.

Eff the check!

Winston Churchill once said, "Success is the ability to go from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm."

I'm working on a couple personal challenges these days. One is that I'm trying to really think about what I really want to do with any given chunk of my time. To shed various senses of obligation so that in as many moments as possible I'm doing things that I really want to do.

Another, related thing is working to be really true to myself. Go along less, speak up more. Stand up for my beliefs in a more active way.

The really chilling thing about these two items is that once I started focusing on them I started to see how often and to what extent I wasn't doing them already. How often I was so easily subverting myself to others. (Speaking in terms of my personal life here, not my professional life.)

Part and parcel to these goals and practices is Mr. Churchill's enthusiasm. Allowing myself that enthusiasm and not holding it back just in case I fall on my face. Those who know me well might well point out that I've never stopped putting myself in situations where I might fall on my face. But what I'm talking about here is the energy that lives in my heart. I've been taking the risks, but I've been fearful. I've been trying to not count chickens. I've been feeling bad about being all in, and I've been holding back on allowing myself to feel happy.

WELL NO MORE OF THAT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

1

2

3

.

.

.

Image by key lime pie yumyum.

Comments

[Frank]

I know you don't want to do this, but working in production as a freelancer really gives you a different mindset than working a desk job. As a freelancer, you're always looking for your next gig, your next project and you get very good at being able to juggle things at various stages of completion. It's nice to say that you concentrate on one thing at a time, but most people (even the biggest names) don't have that luxury, nor do they wish it.

If you want to direct, you need to be working in production.