Dating Like Dancing

This is less of a viable strategy, and more of my current sanity-maintenance technique.

When a woman first learns to dance - swing or ballroom for example - she is introduced to the concept of following. For me, it was literally a physical shock to my system, the releasing of control to my partner, for better or for worse. But I must admit, for someone like me who is almost always in control, it was invigorating; I took to it like a fish to water.

It's like a fabulous vacation.

And I'm a good follow. I've had more than one dance partner tell me this. When I approach a dance floor, I click into it and let go. I become attuned to my dance partner, and it's an amazing feeling to have a pressure from fingers send you spinning. And the pull back in is divine.

One interesting part of being a good follow is, if the dance is going poorly, it's not my fault. If we run into someone, it's not my fault. I come to the play, I do my part, and with any luck, I enjoy the ride.

After my last disasterious attempt at a straight-forward romantic conversation, I decided I'm done. I'm abdicating responsibility for my love life for a while.

No bringing anything up. No making any moves. No thinking about what I could do or should do or what's going on. I'm playing follow for a while. If that means no action, so be it.

I do feel like it's horribly lazy. And totally unfair. And at times frustrating, because as of last weekend I've been single for a year and holy, holy does that equal frustrating. I honestly don't understand people that don't date. I wonder about their libido. They must enjoy masturbation a heck of a lot more than me.

But libido be damned. I'm working on my friendships and my projects and my health and fitness, and in general just enjoying what's already in my life.

When I think, Maybe I should have... - Then I think, Dating like Dancing. Just for a while.

Because when I think about love, it feels just like that pull back from the spin. I want a guy who grabs my hand and takes me places.

In the end, of course, dating and sex and relationships aren't quite like dancing - What fun would that be, if there wasn't give and take? So I'll take my turn at lead again, I'm sure, but for now, If you're wondering if I want you to? I want you to.

And if you're not? That's cool, too. It's all good.

Comments

[ConstanceB]

"I honestly don't understand people that don't date. I wonder about their libido. They must enjoy masturbation a heck of a lot more than me."

I second that.

[DD]

awesome post, I concur

[lizriz]

Thank you!