On March 16, 2005, I wrote a post called, "I am so sick of being single I could scream." It was my eighth post ever, and it was destined for long life, as it still gets read and commented on today - often because the reader googled that exact phrase.
When you blog over many years, you - hopefully - evolve past many moments and ways of being. When I reread that post, I'm instantly transported back to that place, that me. It's very viseral, and it doesn't surprise me that it's a place many of us have been and are at any given time.
Recently, Andie commented on that post and asked me a question:
I'm curious Liz, so have you found someone after that rant in 2005? It's 2011 and it's still getting visitors. Could totally relate.
It is indeed 2011, and I have to admit that I am surprised to find myself single at 40. In Florida, in my 20s, I easily went from one multi-year relationship to another. In L.A., in my 30s, I haven't made it to a single one-year anniversary.
Two decades, two ways of being, many lessons learned, and much personal growth later, however, I don't feel like I have "one that got away." No regrets.
At the top of a new personal decade, I am single and I am happy. I had a lot of living and learning to do to get here. I do wish I'd gotten here sooner, and I do wish I had a lover to share and laugh with, but both of these truths are just another part of my life that I embrace. Because this is simply how long it took to become this me. It could have been worse.
These days I love myself and the people around me as best I can, I am grateful for the fun and happiness and challenges in my life every day, and I know romantic love will come again. I'm looking forward to it - SO looking forward to it - but I've learned joy is something that comes from inside us, and I'm here living every day.