It was bound to get better. It was bound to get great.
Year after year I kept my chin up. Kept moving. Kept hoping.
Years of New Years. This one will be better. This one will be better.
And then it was. 2012, I think I love you.
I’ve been thinking lately that I really rather tripped into my 40s. I’m a June baby, and the second half of 2011 was absurd for me in every direction. Like a giant crescendo of absurdity. I felt like I jumped onto a fountain and went up, up, up, and then the water cut off, and I went flying over the finish line of three rough years.
Straight into 2012, the first six months of which have been pretty amazing.
You might not think so, but for me, it’s true. I’ve been directing, I’ve been learning, I’ve been meeting new people. I’ve been paying attention, braving challenges, and owning my truth.
I’ve also been frustrated, and disappointed, and humbled. I want to move, but I can’t. I wish I had more money, but I don’t. I wish I was living with and sharing my life with a man who I love, but I'm not.
Which is to say, that I've discovered that happiness is something that exists inside you everyday, no matter what's going on.
What's going on now is, I've shot one episode of a web series premiering in the fall called "WRNG in Studio City." (I'm episode six!)
I've partnered up with an amazing group of people, and we're launching a Kickstarter campaign in about a week for a romantic comedy feature film titled, "Missing Miranda."
And in everything I'm doing and learning, I am keeping "Zero Sight" tucked close to my heart. Best case scenario, we shoot "Missing Miranda" and then I'm able to roll right into "Zero Sight."
I've been dating. I've been exercising. I've started a new big sort through my stuff. This time I'm at things I'm going to try to sell on Craigslist, etc. It's very challenging.
Have I mentioned on the blog that I think that going through my stuff is like my weird hobby? Like seriously, it's like what I do for fun besides exercising and hanging out with my friends.
This month, things got a little full. I was joking with my friend Kerry that I began to believe in abundance, and then the abundance was kicking my ass!
That's a thing about L.A. No matter how good I get with my choices and my scheduling, sometimes you just hit a couple weeks where everything's just landing at once. So with any luck, you keep making choices, scheduling, and enjoy the fact that you're working your ass off on things that you love.
Now, glad to be coming up for a little air, and after two weeks of no exercise to speak of, I got back in the saddle yesterday and biked to work. Fingers crossed for weekend yoga!!! Also looking forward to some YAS, hiking, and pilates in July. It's gorgeous in L.A., and I can't wait to get out into the summer.
And summer's here, because my birthday is here! It's tomorrow, and I can hardly believe it.
Grateful every day.