Everyday Goddess

Halfway Through May Play!

It is rather absurdly difficult to be active for at least 30 minutes every day. So far, I've missed two Fridays because I meant to come home and do a full-body stretch plus abs or Just Dance 3 on the Wii, and I completely forgot.

I missed a Saturday because I wasn't in the mood.

And today I thought I'd get some walking in between the metro and where I'm going tonight... only to find out that where I'm going is literally at the subway stop. So talking the stairs in and out of the subway is going to have to cut it for today.

The increase in activity has been challenging physically, too. I've biked to work twice a week for 3 weeks now, and that ride home is kinda rough. At the end of the work day I think, Am I really going to get on my bike right now? Is this really happening right now? And then I just get on the bike and ride home, because thinking about it isn't gonna get it done.

When I get home I carry my bike up a flight of stairs to my apartment, and I think about that as the cherry on top. Woohoo!

So last week I biked a total of 20 miles and walked a total of 10 miles. Whew!

I've also had moments of feeling better than I have in years. Strong. Empowered.

Every time I get in shape, and it's so hard, I think about how I need to STAY in shape so that I don't have to go through this again. And here I am. Again.

But I'm getting there, and there's no way I'm stopping now. Particularly because of my lifestyle and my ongoing career goals, my health and my mental acuity are just too important to me to let them seep away on my couch.

It's actually really helping to challenge myself to do something EVERY DAY. I've missed a couple days, but I am keeping at it. Feels good.

Hope your May's had some play!

May Play, Day 1: And then I caught a cold.

Seriously.

Yesterday I wanted to get a jump on May by biking to work. I hadn't biked to work before, so this was a mix of wise choices and poor choices. Wise: I pegged my jeans, remembered my water, and used my inhaler. Poor: I buried my tissues in my backpack. So when my nose started to run, it was sniffle, sniffle, sniffle all the way to work.

Stop and dig them out, you're thinking? Pish!

I got to work, blew my nose, and proceeded to triumphantly get on with my day. Except... I couldn't seem to shake off the sniffles. And my face was still red a few hours into the day. My skin around my nose looked all irritated. And by early afternoon I could deny it no longer: I had a cold.

Seriously?!

Now, obviously, I'm not going to get a cold every time I bike to work. I suspect it was already coming on and biking in the morning chill for the first time just swung my immunity door wide open. For the ride home I stuffed my pockets with tissues, took it slow, and stopped several times to blow my nose. Sporty, Oh, YEAH.

So today, the first day of my May Play, I'm home from work with a cold, basically freebasing fresh-squeezed orange juice. I had to cancel my plans for tonight, and I'm not feeling very playful. What to do?

It's just 30 minutes of movement, right? So I thought about the Wii - Maybe if I just do the Just Dance 3 dances really half-assed?

Yeah, that made my head spin to think about.

So I cracked out my Jane Fonda Personal Trainer Series and did one of the 25-minute weight training work outs, plus 1 segment from 5-Day Abs by The Firm. I'm planning to use the personal trainer series a lot this month because one thing I've been thinking about is how May Play isn't about kicking your ass. It's not about boot camp or being Angelina Jolie's body double (although a girl can dream...).

It's just about moving your body for 30 minutes a day, every day. Emphasis on the ease and the fun and the feel-goodness of that.

I've got a lot more exercise tapes that are seriously hard-core, but that's not what this month's about. So I did a little, very light, weight lifting and some ab work, and I'm calling that a Day 1 Win. It didn't burn that many calories, but I feel good about it.

Man, do I love pec flies. Even with 3-pound weights. Oh, yes.

As for my mental state... I'm going back to bed. Sniff.

What did you do today? Hopefully it involved a lot less tissues.

 

May Play! May Play!

Resolved for May: May Play! I'm committing to more playing, physically and mentally.

Physically speaking, I'm committing to at least 30 minutes of exercise every day in May. I've been tracking my food occasionally with My Fitness Pal, and one thing that's jumped out at me is the difference just a small amount of exercise in a day makes. A light workout doesn't make me eat more, but suddenly my normal amount of calorie consumption moves below my calorie goal (since I've "earned" extra calories for the day). Basically, I can eat the way I want (read: drink yummy whole milk and butter) if I just add some exercise.

I've been blown away by how important exercise is since reading "Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain" by John J. Ratey, and I think committing to 30 minutes a day is really going to make a difference in my health. A friend sent me this great video from Dr. Mike Evans, check it out:

My plan involves biking to work, going to yoga and YAS, and Just Dance 3 on my Wii. I'm also planning to bust out some workout tapes and other physical Wii games, like Sports Resort and I just got Punch Out! Basically, if I get to the end of a day and I haven't gotten any exercise, I just have to rev up the Wii for 30 minutes.

And play! May Play!

Mentally speaking, my May Play is about approaching my creative work from a fun, playful place. Both, what makes a particular project fun, appealing, and delightful to its audience, and how can I come at the work that needs to be done from a more playful place. I've been gradually shifting my mindset about the way I approach my projects. I try to remember what it felt like to write stories as a child and a teen, and click into that feeling. More fearless, more free. Less "How Am I Ever Going To Pull This Off?" and more "This Is Awesome!"

I love a big, fat 31-day month. Makes me just want to fill it up with challenging goals and good work. And I'm really looking forward to seeing how I feel on June 1st, physically and mentally, because I think this May is really going to get the rest of me and my year clicking along.

I encourage you to take a look at your calendar - How can you add more play to your May?

May Play! Who's with me?

A Good Year

I'm a big proponent of giving yourself time.

Our world and our minds move so quick these days, but still there are things that take more time than you'd like. Healing after a loss is a big one, for example, be it a death or heartbreak.

People rarely want to give themselves the time these things often take.

2009. 2010. 2011.

These were very challenging years for me. Romantically. Careerwise. Financially.

When I got my current job in October - after one hell of a summer - I decided that the holidays would be the holidays, and 2012 - ALL of 2012 - would be my recovery year. I would get through things one by one, step by step, and I would be kind to myself.

I'm slowly getting through various items on my life-repair to do list.

Routine medical stuff. Financial stuff. Car air conditioning that I *seriously* should have fixed last summer no matter what it took, was finally fixed last week.

Spring cleaning: check.

Creative work: in progress.

Long overdue dental work: next up.

I currently make 20% less per year than I made in 2009. And I am damn glad to make it - let's be clear about that. I crazylove my job right now and about a million things about it.

But, I have to remind myself about that 20%. When I'm frustrated in the supermarket because the money left in my checking account will cover my last few needs of the pay period, but not a frozen pizza. I walk down the aisles mentally moving between sincere gratitude that I have money to buy good food, and deep negative feelings about the fact that I can't afford a treat.

It's really quite absurd.

I promised myself a whole year of recovery, I promised myself kindness and understanding and acceptance, and part of me could barely wait until March to feel angry, frustrated, impatient. Who is this person who's right back to 2002; counting pennies to have enough to pay for parking? Again.

But with 2012 barely four months in, the best of me already knows: This is a very good year.

Even if progress is slow. Even if lessons are painful.

I earned this year. I earned some time. I *will* give myself kindness and ease.

So when part of me looks around and wonders what happened, most of me can only laugh at how life pretzels, and what it takes to learn lessons, and what I've discovered about happiness. The single most important lesson I have learned in life, is that true happiness doesn't come from anything outside of yourself. You have to be happy first, from the inside. Otherwise, you'll achieve some goal, some dream, and then you'll sit and wonder why you're still not happy. And then you'll just strive towards something else that will do the trick. Except it won't. At least, that's how it is for me.

Every day in my shower I give thanks for warm, running water. That's a little miracle so many of us experience every single day. Life is amazing.

My recent successes are small, so small, but they're mine. My life may not impress others, but it sure brings me joy. I'm so grateful for my blessings, and my challenges.

A whole year. A good year.

~

Linky goodness:

What It Means to Live the Dream - by Lori Deschene on Tiny Buddha

the myth of the missing moon - by Karen Maezen Miller on Cheerio Road

On my mind this week, and this is an absolutely beautiful cover by Kappa Danielson:

Welcome to the January BuckleDown

Fit October 2011 - unlike Fit October 2010 where I was a Health Ninja - was a bust. I'm big on giving myself enough time for things, and October was too close to the breakup/company's closing/new job trifecta of necessary adjustment. I could tell I needed more time spent relaxing and focusing on my new job, so I quickly let Fit October go to the dogs. I didn't want to get back on the health track in November or December, so Hello, January! (And Hello and Goodbye, Beer Belly!)

Welcome to the BuckleDown, which is up and running and already feeling good.

I toyed with doing South Beach Phase One again, and will *definitely* be monitoring Kalyn's Kitchen for South Beach Phase One recipes, but ultimately I decided to focus on portion control and Phase Two eating. In large part because I'm getting vegetable delivery from CSA California (my first box was very happymaking), and I'm going to be eating the fruits and potatoes. So no sugar/carb cleanse, just a return to consistantly healthy eating.

I'm using My Fitness Pal to track my eating, exercise, and progress. So far, it is very cool and works really well for me. And Vegetarian Times had a big article in the Jan/Feb 2012 issue about portion control. I may join their Portion-Control challenge which starts on January 15th. I'm aiming my daily calorie consumption at 1400 calorie's a day, but not being *too* militant about it.

In terms of fitness, which I seriously need to kick up a notch, I'll be continuing my mediation and yoga on Sundays, and adding 45-minute Firm workouts two mornings a week before work. I'm going to be rotating my Firm Basics tapes through January, and if I meet my workout goal, I'm going to reward myself with some new Firm workouts from Collage Video.

And I'll also be looking for opportunities to add in some biking or hiking.

But the BuckleDown is not just about fitness. It's also about my creative work. I have much to do! And I'm really looking forward to getting to it. This Saturday day will be my first personal work day of the year, and I can't wait! Really happy about my current choices and scheduling.

Also, with the dating. The dating is fun, and I expect to have a few new dates this month. If they involve exercise, movies, healthy food, and/or entertainment industry talk, all the better.

Now, this post was very with the linky, because I like to share what resources and products I use. None of these links were sponsored or requested in anyway.

January BuckleDown! WOOHOO! FTW.

Getting a jump on January

This December has been crazywonderful. I guess it proves the pendulum theory - last year was a crazyworkdisaster that dumped me out on December 23 like, Wait? What? Christmas? ---Swing The Pendulum--- This year I have a new job I love, a short commute, and I've been blessed with so many wonderful opportunities to spend time and give thanks with friends this month.

I crazylove my Christmas tree this year. I couldn't get one last year, and I just want to give my beautiful tree a hug every time I see it.

I usually make sure I have everything Christmas down and put away by January 1st so I can start the year fresh, but it's going to be bittersweet this year.

At the same time, I am totally looking forward to January. I'm thinking of it as buckle-down January - Healthy eating! Exercise! Meditation! And most importantly, diving in on the action web series I'm planning to direct next year, "Zero Sight"! SO excited to dive into all that, that I've already started.

One thing I'm planning to add to my routine is exercise at home on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Woke up this morning and thought, No time like the present! I'm going to rotate my Firm Basics tapes from The Firm (3) through the end of January. They are only 45 minutes, and a great warmup for the more hardcore tapes. This morning I did Fatburning.

Because I have been enjoying the season people. There has been delicious consumption, and there has been weight gain. In fact, I feel like I've been eating crazy ever since my breakup in August. Time to cleanse!

I'm going to do my modified version of Phase 1 in January (where the focus is on cleansing myself of sugar and carbs, and not so much on intense weight loss), and vegetables are the name of the game. I'm going to try ordering a CSA box every other week from CSA California, so I figured, why not start that next week? Can't wait to get my first box!

And finally, I've been making lists and setting up notebooks and thinking and talking and breathing "Zero Sight." More about that to come...

Until then, I'll continue enjoying this beautiful season when I have been so blessed. Happy Holidays, everyone! Good solstice. May you have a wonderful new season to come.

pic from Tourism Ireland

Partial Victory in My MRCA Ticket Appeal!

Well, what do you know.  I got a notice this weekend that the decision is that I owe only $100 for my MRCA Photo-enforced Stop Sign Ticket. So with any luck, I'll be getting a $75 check in the mail from the MRCA or from Redflex Traffic Systems, Inc. I had to pay the $175 fine up front, so at this point I have to wait for a refund. It would be so nice if it came promptly for the holidays.

Incidentally, the argument against my argument against the photo-enforced part (say that five times fast) was that the statute I quoted (Public Resources Code 5786.17) didn't apply. I was not remotely equipped to argue back against that.

But I do remember thinking at one part during the hearing when the lawyer was addressing the second part of my argument about the amount of the fine, Did he just say that the MRCA can just set whatever fines they want? That doesn't seem right. I argued back that I thought that the MRCA has to be meant to operate within the system and at least within the spirit of the laws of California.

Of course, I still feel very strongly that photo-enforced tickets are wrong and should be fully illegal, but given that the judge upheld that part of my appeal, her lowering of my fine to the $100 stipulated by Government Code 53069.4 (although it should be noted that the notice I received doesn't specifically refer to this as relevent, it just lowers my fine) seems logical and fair. And I am very pleased to have had any success at all in this endeavor. And getting $75 back is pretty great and does make the fine for running the stop sign more reasonable to me.

The end of a chapter! Case closed.

~

My previous posts about my MRCA ticket:

Photo-enforced Traffic Tickets Are Cruel and Unethical.

What's What's Wrong at the Heart of MRCA Photo Enforced Stop Sign Tickets

So I went to my MRCA Administrative Hearing

Temescal Canyon, You Are Dead To Me

Photo-enforced Traffic Tickets Are Cruel and Unethical.

Photo-enforced traffic tickets are cruel and unethical because they come after the fact in the mail. You, as a citizen, don't know they're coming or when or how many, because on the day or days you broke the law, you had no idea you also got marked for a fine. So the ticket arrives in the mail - hopefully only one - and a month after you broke the law, suddenly you can't buy groceries. Or gas. Or maybe you just spent some money on something you wouldn't have if you'd known the ticket was coming. This is why we have laws that limit the amount of a ticket and how it is issued. Photo-enforced traffic tickets are bad faith on the part of the issuing government party. They're mean, and they make you feel bad about your role as a citizen.

It's wrong for the government to film you and then mail you an unexpected bill. It's also the top of one heck of a slippery slope.

I didn't argue that in California Superior Court today. At least not as completely or as clearly as above.

I also didn't think to make any statements about respecting that I had indeed done something wrong, and that of course running a stop sign is bad and a tickable offense. Which I clearly should have because after the case was complete the judge spoke to me about accidents involving running stop signs. I managed to get in that I respected that and that was why I wasn't arguing about having ran the stop sign in the first place.

She said that she's gotten tickets before and simply paid them, and I said, "So have I."

Still, I seriously should have spoken to this point during the actual hearing.

I thought it would be better to keep it simple and just argue my points, (see my blog post, So I went to my MRCA Administrative Hearing), but I wasn't able to speak directly to the points that the lawyer had prepared against my position. Both because I couldn't anticipate them, and also because I'd pretty much reached my current level of California law digestion and understanding.

It was all really interesting and educational, that's for sure.

I'm pretty sure I lost today, but what's worse is that my first goal was *supposed* to be to remain calm and collected and not get upset, and - yet again - I failed miserably on this point. I left court feeling like, Why are you crying? WTF? I mean, I knew I was going to be in over my head going in.

It makes no sense to me, and yet, there it happened again.

I need to really think about what's the trigger. I know it happens after a long speech against me where I have to just sit and listen. I know it's frustration at my limitations, and feeling like I'm in a situation that's stacked against me. Feeling like the poor little fool who has no chance against the rich grownups. Anger at injustice.

I know that after it starts, then I'm distracted by my anger and frustration with myself, and my embarrassment at my tears and shaking voice. Today I regrouped and said what I meant to say, but not as well as I would have liked. I also feel like I could have thought of some other good things to say if I hadn't gotten upset.

I should have practiced that moment ahead of time, I think. I bet I have some friends who would roleplay with me in advance of a situation. I prepped that way once for a negotiation, and I was very successful at what we practiced.

So this is something I will continue to work on. I'm also very thankful for the woman who smiled at me reassuringly as I was walking out.

Another thing is knowing that while it's definitely something to just show up, it's not enough. I want to be someone who does the work AND does it well. For example from another part of my life, it's not enough to say that I've applied to the ABC/DGA Directing Program X number of times, rather I need to be doing what it takes to have a stronger application. Doing the work has meaning, but I need to push beyond that. I want to do the work AND excel.

For today, however, just doing the work is going to have to do. I think I did OK, and I think I lost, and I didn't even stay calm. But I tried. And I stood up for what I believe in. I stood up against photo-enforced traffic tickets because I believe to my core that they are cruel and unethical.

Actually, I sat because the judge said to, and the lawyer for MRCA didn't. That was weird and confusing. I think I should have restood when I spoke? I decided to sit because she said to and let it go.

You know, I think people tell lawyer jokes because it's actually really impressive what they do every day and some people want to diminish that to make themselves feel better because they couldn't do it. I can't imagine feeling comfortable in a courthouse setting and standing up like that every day. I think that's why we make so many shows about courtrooms and hospitals, because if you're outside them, they and the people who work in them are so impressive and their entire world is really fascinating.

One other interesting thing, while I've no idea how to object, I did manage to stipulate that I ran the stop sign so we didn't have to watch the video. So I guess one small personal victory for me.

In other news, gingerbread lattes are in at Starbucks, and I was really grateful to be able to have that treat after a very challenging morning.

My previous posts about my MRCA ticket:

What's What's Wrong at the Heart of MRCA Photo Enforced Stop Sign Tickets

So I went to my MRCA Administrative Hearing

Temescal Canyon, You Are Dead To Me

UPDATE: After I wrote this post I realized that I should give myself a break considering I had a major face swelling episode on Wednesday night, then work all day Thursday at my new job where I was embarrassed because of my swollen face, and then there's the fact that I'm closing out three challenging years of layoffs, unemployment and underemployment. I went. I didn't do as well as I would have like to. But I made it, I did it, I learned a lot, and it's done. I know if I keep moving forward, and keep working hard, things will stabilize and the balance will tip to more winning. Final stretch on this difficult period of my life. I declare it!

What's Wrong at the Heart of MRCA Photo Enforced Stop Sign Tickets

I just got a new job in Burbank. Huzzah!

This means that I traverse the length of Burbank twice daily on either Magnolia Boulevard or Burbank Boulevard. Last week was my first week, and as I traveled along at 35/40 miles an hour, I watched many cars pass me by. This did not bother me one bit, because a few years ago in Burbank I got a speeding ticket for going 50 on one of those roads where the speed limit is 35 mph.

The first thing I thought of when I thought of my new commute was, I'm sure as heck not getting another speeding ticket in Burbank, and I need to be extra careful if I'm going to be driving across it twice a day.

See, the configuration of Magnolia Boulevard and Burbank Boulevard remind me of Glades Road and Palmetto Park Road in Boca Raton, where I drove for many years. Driving across Burbank feels like driving across Boca, in a way, and those roads have a nice 45 mph speed limit.

Personally, I still think the 35 mph speed limit on Magnolia and Burbank is too slow.

But the cop that pulled me over was super friendly and polite. And clearly explained that despite what I might think, it's pretty dangerous to go 50 mpg on Magnolia and Burbank. Complete with examples of recent accidents. And I have to admit, no one parks along Glades and Palmetto the way they do here.

I didn't contest my - rather expensive - speeding ticket. I don't hate the city of Burbank. And I adjusted my driving habits.

Driving to and from work this past week got me thinking about my upcoming appeal to the Superior Court about my MRCA Photo Enforced Stop Sign Ticket. And how - unlike my experience in Burbank - I now feel nothing but negative feelings about Temescal Canyon Park where I got it.

See, when you fight a ticket - or really any injustice - people come out of the woodwork to tell you to just settle down and take your medicine. Meanwhile, the MRCA points to a decrease in people running their stop signs as proof of (at least) effectiveness. But is that really their goal? And is this really the best way to go about it?

I know it doesn't matter to the MRCA that I'll never step foot on their property again and how I now feel about their parks.

But maybe it should, because had I been stopped immediately and given a ticket by a uniformed employee, as required by California Public Resources Code 5786.17, and had that ticket been $100 or less, as required by California Government Code 53069.4, I would have learned my lesson, and I would have paid my ticket and moved on, and I would still go hiking at Temescal.

Perhaps said uniformed employee could even have taken the opportunity to educate me and have a dialogue the way the Burbank officer did.

Instead, a lawyer for the MRCA will testify and show evidence that I ran the stop sign. He and everyone else in the court will be having a normal day, somewhere they go all the time to do their jobs. I will concede that I did indeed run the stop sign and will attempt to argue that the ticket and the fee break the laws I mentioned above. All while having a totally new experience and having no representation.

I do think I have a chance - I mean, I read the laws myself and it seems pretty clear to me - but I suspect that there's a high probability that my inexperience with court will mean I don't win my case. It's still important to me to try, because I feel very strongly that the MRCA Photo Enforced Stop Sign program is unethical, illegal, a bald-faced money-making scheme, and flat-out mean.

I also think that it creates negative energy around the parks system, but I won't be arguing that in court.

My previous posts about my MRCA ticket:

So I went to my MRCA Administrative Hearing

Temescal Canyon, You Are Dead To Me

Fit October Can Not Come Fast Enough

Apparently I've become someone who eats through job stress and heartbreak, just for September. JUST FOR SEPTEMBER, because first of all, WTF? And second of all, FIT OCTOBER.

I've gotta admit, y'all, I'm not sure if I've got it in me this year. So I may kick it off with something a little drastic. Reading about the master cleanse made me cry, so instead of *that* insanity, there may be cabbage. Lots and lots of cabbage.

And exercise, of course. I only went to yoga three times in September, and that counts tomorrow.

Fit October. The last healthy stand before the holidays hit. Own it! Love it.