Everyday Goddess

Sunday Night Inventory

I really felt like I needed to relax this weekend, and do some things that bring me peace so:

• Major Tivo clearing, including 3 episodes of "Reaper" and 4 of "Medium," plus a bunch of single episodes of shows I do a better job of keeping up with. For example, Friday evening "Gray's Anatomy" before I went out and Saturday morning "Lost."
• Studied the shot design in the opening concert scene of the most recent episode of "Numb3rs": "Pay to Play." Thought about the scheduling of that part of the shoot, how they worked the extras, etc.
• Finished a 24-row rotation on my never ending Kimono Shawl project. I've now completed 8 24-row repeats.
• Got my hair cut.
• Wrote up my Lipton bike giveaway contest post.
• Wrote up a gray hair post that will go up tomorrow.
• Finished the gift I was working on last weekend.
• Called my mom.
• Read some.
• Emailed some.
• Went to the grocery store - Making dinner for Hunky Actor Boyfriend tonight, and maybe watching my Netflix.

OK, here's the fails:

• I was supposed to do some organizational work on my screenplay this weekend so I'm ready to just write when I sit down this week.
• Didn't clear my inbox. Still have six emails from April. Ouch. I really should have made a weekend goal to get caught up through the end of April.
• Thought maybe I'd do some exercise. Didn't.

Not a high-powered weekend, but I feel OK about it. Needed some down time.

Sunday Night Inventory

Every Sunday I engage in a ritual self-flagellation about what I didn't get done over the weekend. This is often not because I didn't get a lot done, but because I didn't get twice as much done as is actually humanly possible.

So I think I'm going to start posting on some Sunday nights before I go to bed an inventory of what I did accomplish, how I spent my time, and what important things are still on the table going into the new week. To try to get some perspective.

Here's what I did and accomplished this weekend:

• I got significant work done on a gift I'm putting together. This took some time, but also allowed me to learn about a new computer program and work process I need for film projects.
• I paid bills / did finances.
• Got my blog post / pics up of the Indiana Jones ads on the Transformers building.  :)
• Went to breakfast with Hunky Actor Boyfriend.
• Finally bought some work pants that fit, some new work shirts, and a couple of pairs of shorts. Man, I do not enjoy shopping for clothes.
• Also, got some new bras (buy 2, get one free + 20% off!), and I hand washed my other bras, too.
• I watched my Netflix: Sunset Boulevard (Special Collector's Edition). (Loved it so much I immediately watched all the extras and the audio commentary.)
• Two loads of laundry, washed and put away.
• Cleared some shows off my Tivo. (I tend to do this for a lunch or dinner break.)
• Started the screenwriting book I wanted to read this weekend.
• Got my inbox down to 15 messages. Answered a lot that I really needed to get to.
• Wrote my Monday BlogHer post so I can go to the movies with Hunky Actor Boyfriend tomorrow night.
• Picked up my room and bathroom - floor still clear, counter still clean.

OK, so here's my fails:

• Really needed to read a big chunk of that screenwriting book: Advanced Screenwriting: Raising Your Script to the Academy Award Level. I'm on page four. This was my major fail.
• I didn't get to the supermarket, so I don't have milk for my coffee tomorrow, which bites.
• Didn't clear THE WHOLE INBOX, but I am definitely closing in on getting it back under control. Final count:  11 messages still in the inbox.
• The audio book of the book I'm adapting still isn't on my iPod.
• Didn't do any screenwriting, although I have an after-work session scheduled for Tuesday.
• Been meaning to write a blog post about TV coming back and industry strike stuff, but I totally didn't get to it.
• Really thought I'd be able to exercise this weekend.

Upcoming projects:

• Need to really figure out my website for my film shorts.
• Want to do a 3 book video review of summer reads. Still reading book 3.
• Just beginning to work on a web series with a directing group I belong to. That won't gear up for me for a bit, since I'm not in the writer's room.

All in all, this was a pretty successful weekend.

The milk and the poor progress on reading that screenwriting book are killing me, though.

New Year's Resolutions: Two for 2008

I love making (and keeping) New Year's Resolutions. For me, the key is that goal-setting is very different than resolution making. Goal-setting represents challenges that may evolve throughout the year. I wouldn't make a New Year's resolution to exercise twice a week, but I might set that as a goal.

Resolutions are simpler, and rarely involve my schedule, which is constantly evolving and responding to opportunities. Resolutions are challenging, but totally doable.

I skipped resolutions last year. Getting laid off a week before Christmas kinda shakes the snow globe. So this year, I have two resolutions.

1. I resolve not to transfer any money out of my savings account in 2008.

We are talking about a super small amount of money here. I transfer $25/month into savings, and then the Keep the Change program amounts to another $10 - $15/month. But every few months, I run short, and I transfer whatever's accrued back to my checking. It's one degree better than using a credit card, but in 2008, it's time to take the next step. Right now I've got $80 in there, and if I keep this resolution, I should easily have $500 by the end of 2008. That's not 3 weeks living expenses, but it's a start.

2. I resolve to stop counting how many years I've lived in Los Angeles.

When people ask me how long I've been in Los Angeles - because that's what we do in the transplant pool - I resolve to answer, "I moved here in 2002," and let them do the math.

Here's the thing. I moved to Los Angeles to live here. To build my life, here. Not to just give it a go.

It's not a race, and it's not "the six years I spent in Los Angeles" or "the ten years I spent in Los Angeles." There's just something about counting the years that gives a meaning to the time spent that I don't care to give it. A lot of people in the entertainment industry were born here. They don't count the years, and neither am I. This is home, and it has been since 2002.

~

Linked over at BlogHer, on Denise's post, I'm fascinated by New Year's Resolutions but I don't make them. Do you? Check it out to read other people's New Year's Resolutions, and if you blog your resolutions, you can link them over there, too.

I'm zeroing in on my 2008 goals.

OK, so five and a half years in, I've come to the realization that I don't have the time or the money right now to shoot the amount of stuff it would take to break into directing that way. I have absolute confidence that I could direct a one-hour episodic and do a great job tomorrow, but I can't prove it and that's the long and the short of it at the end of the day.

So. I really could have realized this years ago, but I wasn't ready and now I am: I'm going to have to write my way in, and that means I'm going to have to write. A lot.

And while I would really love to direct television, I sure as heck don't want to write it, so that means features.

My A-1, number one goal in 2008 is to finish three - count them *three* feature screenplays. And that means getting really hardcore about my schedule. Here's the plan.

I already work full-time during the day, and I work Monday and Wednesday nights for BlogHer. I kept getting tripped up when I was thinking about my schedule and how to work it, because working Monday and Wednesday nights makes me want to say that Tuesday and Thursday nights are off - And then there's just the weekend and that doesn't work. The solution is to work harder, more. The solution is to push myself harder.

In 2008, I will work my full-time day job, Monday through Friday; I will work for BlogHer on Monday and Wednesday nights; and I will work Tuesday night and one weekend block every week. Screenwriting blocks will be at least two hours and at most four hours. Screenwriting time can include actual screenwriting, or outlining, cards, treatment work, and even just thinking so long as said thinking is done in front of a computer screen with Final Draft open. So I will work Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights, and then have Thursday and Friday nights off, because I never want to work those nights, and I know that about myself.

I will finish my current original screenplay I started during Script Frenzy last year. I will finish an adaptation that's near and dear to my heart (and barely started) because I love adaptation and therefore should start writing them. And I will have a brand new idea fully outlined and ready to go for Script Frenzy 2008, which is in April this year BTW.

So that's the screenwriting, and you can see that my schedule is pretty packed, considering I'll still be blogging here as well, of course, trying to keep up with at least some television, reading, knitting, and trying to keep myself, my clothes, and my apartment relatively clean. And Hunky Actor Boyfriend's schedule is the one thing allowed to push the blocks around - because we already know he's certainly not going to be consuming my schedule, just fitting into it every week.

Even with the packed schedule, to date, I've always directed something in the even years. But, I've cooled on my idea to shoot a PSA in the first quarter - I just decided that jumping right into writing is what I need to do right now. I may have to let shooting go in 2008 (ouch) to meet my writing goals, but I am hoping to help some people with their stuff. I worked one weekend on a shoot in 2007, and it was really, really good for the soul and does keep those skills awake. I *would* like to shoot something one weekend for myself if I can at some point in 2008, so I'm going to stay open to how that can happen. (And meet with my editor in my sleep, I guess?)

If I am on set on a weekend, then I will skip that writing block. I don't anticipate that happening even monthly (although that would rock), so that's the deal.

Finally, I absolutely, positively *have* to get up a website with all of my film shorts in the first quarter of 2008. I was planning to do the work myself (and get it done by January 1st... Not), since surely I am smart enough to figure it out, but now I'm leaning towards working with a pro rather than take the time to teach myself, when I don't really have the time. After I get pricing, however, I may have to change my mind back.

And then there's educational opportunities, networking meetings, conferences, etc. They always fit in somehow. I have a Saturday GRIT meeting every other month, so I'll probably skip the Saturday writing block on those weekends as well.

I've always got to be open-minded with my schedule to maintain my sanity, but I do intend to use my calendar and be hardcore about two writing blocks a week most weeks. I've got to stick to the Tuesday whenever I can because that's the hard-work, early week energy I need to keep going. I feel good about it. I'm just going to focus on this one year and see what I've got at the end and what I want to do next. That's how I always do it, and there's been forward motion. Just gotta keep moving forward, even if the progress feels minuscule.

Wow, I really, really wish I could exercise.

Seriously, though, I am going to try to fit in one bike ride a month, abs in the mornings, and to do some more active things with Hunky Actor Boyfriend. (Heh.) Movie dates, also, are key. Luckily, we've got the same goals; it's all so synergistic.

Man, do I love to work. Feels good.

Born to Direct 1-Hour Episodic Television.

I'm having one of those weeks where being a 1-hour episodic television director seems impossible, and it's harder to self-motivate and focus on the things in front of me to do and have faith that they will get me there eventually. This is how I've moved forward my entire life, and when my faith in myself and my process waivers, it's disturbing.

I met (uber-briefly) a television director this week, and it was the distance between us that got to me. He, of course, is frustrated by feeling stuck in television. And while I can certainly respect that everyone has their frustrations, it's disheartening because so many television directors are similarly frustrated, and I just want to get in. I want to get to work.

My boyfriend is getting into SAG this month, and he has a showcase. He'll start auditioning and living and learning that life. I look at him, and I believe that he will make it. It's easy to see it in someone else.

And I know that being an actor has it's difficulties and it's journey and it's frustrations and it's questions. But more often than not, I find myself so jealous of the existence of a known path. I am so jealous of the audition.

Can you imagine if television studios had one day a year where you could interview in person to direct television shows? Even for one slot. That would change my whole hope landscape. It would be something.

I mean, I apply for the various television directing programs - but HBO started one this year, and they rolled it out quietly to limit applications. To keep people on the outside, like me, out of the application process. Truth be told, that was really depressing. To have come so far and still not have been close enough to hear about that program in time to apply.

I can't float and continuously knock on doors and shadow television directors and make connections because I have to work my day job. I can't take an entry-level television position because of the salary. I don't want to become an assistant director. Let's face it, that's the truth of that. I know that I could direct an episode of television tomorrow and do a damn good job, and I don't want to assistant direct (not a path to directing the way it sounds like it might be for those who are outside the industry), I want to direct.

The path in is to direct an independent feature. This offends my logic, but there it is. Television directing is basically the exact opposite of independent feature directing, but the few television directors I've met got in that way.

I always feel like such a poser in independent film circles. It's all about individual vision, and what I want to do is jump from show's vision to another all year, learning what they want and need, and delivering it on time and under budget, under immense pressure with totally new crew families where I'm the visitor. I want to be that piece of the television puzzle because I know I'd be really great at it. A director is always learning, but I'm ready to jump in.

So how to get to the pool?

Well, truth be told, no one actually knows. So I have to simply continue looking ahead at my short term and seeing what I can do and doing it.

I'm never going to quit trying, so really the angst is just a waste of time and energy. Not that that keeps it from knocking on my door every once in a while. Stupid angst.

I try not to look at all the people along the path, directing film shorts and going nowhere. That's what really gets to me. What makes me think that I am different? But even I as write that, deep in my soul I believe that I am different. I know that I have what it takes, I know my specific goal, and I simply can not believe that I will not make it if I never give up. Perhaps I'll change my mind in twenty years, but I've got at least twenty years left in me to push. I'm still a kid in directing terms, really. So I remind myself that everything means nothing until it means everything.

Everything means nothing until it means everything.

Here's what I will do by the end of 2007:

• Write my PSA script
• Finish a rough draft of "My Imaginary Boyfriend"
• Get a personal website up with my film shorts online
• Watch and study the fall shows, sketch a frame or two
• Go to the FIND Filmmakers Forum

I've also got two more people I was hoping to have networking meetings with by the end of the year, but I think one of them's blowing me off. (Another thing that's got me down.) It's past the point of my being responsive about it and personally making the meeting happen, and moved on to I'm Over It. Just this morning I thought, maybe I can meet with that television director I (briefly) met instead.

So, is this list of year end goals enough? Is it the right stuff?

I don't know. I never know. But it's what's in front of me to do, and it's going to be a hell of a stretch to get it all done.

And that, my friends, is the only way I know to get where I'm going.

April Showers Bring May To Do Lists

Well, yearly planning has officially gone to hell this year considering it's May.  Then again, last year I threw it all out the window to write/produce/direct a short film for my On The Lot entry.  This year, it's been all about the short term goals.

Anyway, I'm going monthly with the goal setting.  Barely manageable chunks, here we come.

In May, I will:

• Blog every day and begin blogging "On The Lot"  done
• Get my car air conditioning fixed  done
• Get out the "Hammer" cast & crew DVDs and thank yous  DONE
• Do my character work for a television show I'm developing with a friend  done
• Read and review one novel in the queue (I wonder, could I pull off two? nope)  done
• Review the Keri lotion I was sent  done
• Major Bathroom Cleaning, including product sort and pitch  done
• Go to Starbucks, open my short screenplay "Behind the Walls," WRITE  SO not so much with the done, but I did look at it.  It waits again....
• Develop the six rolls of film and one disposable camera that I've had since L.A. Year One  done and WOW what crap
• Give thought to blog stickers or business cards for BlogHer, and get that "I'm Going to BlogHer" button up on the blog!  easy part done... and, uh, "thought" done
• OB-Gyn & Eye Doctor, order contacts  appts done

Major thing that will wait till June:  laptop.  I have some expenses I need to cover before I commit to my laptop purchase - which is looking more and more like the cheapest iBook every day.  Which is nothing to sneeze at.  I just REALLY, REALLY want to not charge any of it, so if it has to be the most basic one, than that's what I'm going to buy. 

Of course, I also have to be careful that I can even get that one.  And, once I get it there's time to be spent moving things and getting things set up.  And clearly, I'm still dealing with some loose ends and miscellaneous chores in May.  So the new laptop is waiting till June.  Or, I could completely run out of money.  Next year...

Along with dealing with my email inboxes, which are clearly planning to launch a world take-over as we speak.  Or, this could just get done in May.  Rock!

Final update, I also in May registered "Hammer" with Without a Box, and submitted to one film festival.  So the inboxes and Without a Box pushed my Desert Storm film short script work.  Ah, well, it's time WILL come.