Everyday Goddess

"Zero Sight: Bad Call" Hits the Web

One of the best things about "Zero Sight: Bad Call" hitting the web this week was unexpected. So many of my friends and mentors watched it and sent me the most wonderfully thoughtful responses. One thing I love about directing, and why I'm drawn to it, is that it continues to present challenges and opportunities to learn. And you learn throughout the process. I've no doubt that "Zero Sight: Bad Call" will have things to teach me even a year from now, and I'm so grateful to have so many wonderful people in my life who took time out to watch the short and give me real feedback. (Keep it coming!)

Now, don't get me wrong... I'm also incredibly fond of every single person who simply told me that it rocks! Check it out; what do you think?

Another thing I just adore, is the ability to put content on the web and just immediately share it. The potential for feedback and sharing and interaction is just fantastic. I love that on the web, a project lives just as soon as you upload it.

The flip side of that is the need for marketing and my fixation this week on the number of views and likes. And the fact that they matter. The fact that the first day, the first week, matters. There's this push-pull energy between viewers, who watch when they can, and creators, where you need people to watch right away. It feels like some sort of cruel irony, the way I watch and interact with content vs. the sudden need for people to watch, like, and with any luck SHARE, the film short I directed. It's kinda crazy. It's certainly crazy-making.

I've a fair bit of experience in Internet marketing and social media, of course, but for the blog it's always been different. I do what feels organic and fun, and then that's just it. I blog for myself first, and it's always been that way. Yes, it being public is a big part of the energy of blogging, but it being popular has never been my personal goal. Clearly.

There were a couple years there, as blogs just began to become mainstream, that people would seek me out and ask me how I got readers, how my blog reached the level it was at then, and honestly, the only answer I have is that I was blogging organically and honestly in 2005. The community was much smaller, some cool people linked to me, and I made some awesome blog friends. Then the Internet changed, my readership has naturally gone down, and I'm just still doing what I do, less the types of posts that now live on Facebook instead.

As I write this, "Zero Sight: Bad Call" is at a little over 1500 views, which to me seems pretty awesome, particularly for a video with an adult content warning at the head and nobody famous or singing or being broadly humorous in it. Also, no cats. So I'm pretty happy about that number, and to be honest, I'm pretty amused by the adult content warning, too. (Even if the reality is pretty mild.)

But the hard thing is that I love it, and I love everyone who worked on it, and I want MORE and MORE people to see it and love it, too! And so I rack my brain for ways to make that happen, ways to rise above the ocean of content. You send messages and emails and press releases and tweets and shares, and you just hope it gets out there. That people like it and that people share it. (SUPER thanks to everyone who's watched, liked, commented and/or shared - YOU ROCK!)

I know I'm not the first one to dive into this, and I guess what I would most want to share is that I think that if you send something out and no one responds and picks it up for a post on a website or something cool like that, you have this tendency to think, Oh well, maybe it wasn't that good then. Maybe next time.

But I've worked in PR, and I know that's not necessarily true. You can create something amazing, and it can simply not make the leap because of the timing or the right person was too busy when they got your message, or any number of things. We're all in a big ocean these days, and you need like a flying fish to leap up and help you glisten in the sun where everyone can see, but sometimes you just get stuck in the waves with all the other drops of water.

Geez, I can really milk an anology, right?

Anyway, I don't really know how we next get more eyeballs, but I love "Zero Sight: Bad Call." I think it came out pretty damn good, and everyone who worked on it is superawesome. It's hella fun, my friends. Sexy, cute, fast, and hella fun.

If you agree, how about you vote for "Zero Sight: Bad Call" for Short of the Week? THAT would be awesome!!!

And SHARE it, my friends. I promise that mature content warning will protect anyone from getting in trouble with the boss. And it's the weekend now anyway.

Shooting In Your Space

I read an interview once with Ed Burns where he said that he cast himself in The Brothers McMullen because then he always knew that at least one person would show up on shoot days.

Well, I'm not an actress, but what I do have is a fairly large - for a one-bedroom in Los Angeles - apartment. And so we shot a lot of my Stage 5 TV Continuum film short, "Zero Sight: Bad Call," in my space. The entire first, fat day of shooting of a two-day shoot, to be specific.

Now, I have an odd hobby in life of going through my things and getting rid of stuff. It's an ongoing, process, and I have a lot less things than I used to. But going into a film shoot, even more had to go. I spent a lot of time moving things like my rocking chair and my bike to my friend's basement, taking things to the thrift store, and reorganizing.

I moved my china cabinet into the bedroom, a freestanding pantry to the porch, and my old TV to the bathroom. I painted my kitchen over Christmas, put all my movie posters under my bed and stuffed my closets to the brim. By the night before the shoot, the only thing in my apartment that I hadn't personally moved was an armoir in a corner of my bedroom. Space was at a premium, and the best place for the sandbags, was the hallway. The HALLWAY where people walk was the best place for the sandbags.

We put most of grip and electric on the porch, but I was concerned about load-bearing so I insisted, no sandbags there. The weight of those suckers adds up fast.

As production design and equipment were moved in, my producer Paige Barnett and I became really concerned about space and number of bodies. So much so that when a friend who had volunteered to be on-set photographer had to cancel, I called Paige and said, "Good news, the set photographer cancelled!" A little tongue in cheek, to be sure, but with a solid tinge of truth. (And BIG thanks to Paige for taking tons of pics during the shoot!)

I wish I'd have somehow hired a script supervisor; I regretted the decision not to in editing, but I honestly don't know how we would have fit another person without all of us going mad. Here's a shot of Jon Gentry (Cam) and VyVy Nguyen (Veronica) chilling out in the bathroom. VyVy's sitting on my TV:

Hey, that's wardrobe in the background, hanging in the shower! Here's what's behind wardrobe:

My bedroom was hair and makeup, DIT, AND the green room. Craft services went in the kitchen, and had to be moved whenever it was in the shot. The space was full up, and to the cast and crew, what can I say, but thank you, thank you, thank you for your good humor about it all. Thank you!

Now, my place was previously apartment white. Here's Paige at the beginning of that project, the weekend before the shoot:

And later, when our friend Ralph Sanchez came to give us a hand - and a painting lesson, it turned out:

We did three coats of the yellow, ultimately, on what is a pretty big room. I have to admit, it was a little panic inducing seeing bright yellow paint go up against blue painter's tape. I suddenly had images of my apartment as a preschool. Big thanks to my production designer, Jessica Mahnke, who picked the colors, because it was my confidence in her that kept me breathing while the yellow went up. Here's a shot from the film where you can see some of her marvelous production design:

The craziest thing we did in the apartment was a 180 degree dolly move that required full-size curved dolly track and a doorway dolly. Originally, we'd thought we'd be able to use a smaller rig, but the nature of the move and the size of the RED camera meant we needed to upgrade. Which meant that we needed to fit even more into my apartment. Looking at the track the night before my shoot, I thought to myself, Ah, the fine line between brave and stupid... There it is:

And, setting up for action: 

Ultimately, working around my full-time day job, it took about a month to prep the apartment for the shoot, and over a month to recover. It was kind of amazing, and totally worth it. When I came home at the end of day two, I dropped my bags and took this shot:

The sad thing about this pic is that I had to give that TV back. Now *that* took all my personal strength.

So now, my apartment is pretty much all back together. Funny thing, getting ready for a little get-together about a month and half after the shoot I actually thought to myself, What happened to my carpet? And then I laughed out loud. Um, I think it was the film crew.

Renting a carpet cleaner is on the To Do list.

"Zero Sight: Bad Call" premieres Tuesday May 14th on The Continuum on Stage 5 TV.

"Award-Winning" - It Only Takes One

It's a common saying in the industry: Instead of going to film school, you should spend that money making a film.

It's always bemused me, this notion. Because so many people in the entertainment industry have money and come from some level of money and opportunity, and I tend to think that this thought process, especially ten-ish years ago and before, comes from that worldview. Whenever I would hear someone say this I would think, "Yeah, but the government won't give you money to make a film, but they WILL give you money to go to film school." Plus, if you make a bad film that no one sees - which happens all the time by the way - then what do you have?

I didn't have much money. When I went to Florida State University Film School, I emptied the couple thousand dollars out of my 401K, borrowed the max financial aid, and put every fourth month on credit cards for two years. I landed in Los Angeles with enough money to live for about month (and the rent prepaid for 3).

Beyond that practicality, however, the reason I really value my FSU education, is that in those two years, I did learn more than I could ever have learned making one film. I did almost every job on a film set for at least one day, and I regularly find that my breadth of film production knowledge isn't matched by many, unless they went to FSU. Even as things change, I have a base of understanding about what everyone around me on a film set does, what it feels like, and what their perspective on the production is. In the last ten years, I've even filled that out by working (once) in a role/department I hadn't experienced before.

This knowledge was of specific interest to me in my goal to become a working director. I like understanding a little more intimately what everyone around me is doing. It adds depth to my respect of them and their work.

At my current rate, and thanks to my years of unemployment and forebearance, I will pay off my student loan when I am 65 years old. It was worth it.

FSU paid for the production budget of my senior thesis film short, "Every Little Girl's Dream." They also submitted the film to festivals; they do that work and they pay for the festival submissions. This is a huge blessing when you end film school with barely any money, but it's also a bit of a curse. They picked where the film was submitted, and I relied on them to tell me where it was playing.

Of course, I was broke. It's really important to go to film festivals when your film is playing, and I usually couldn't go. "Every Little Girl's Dream" got into quite a few, and I went to exactly one: The Sarasota Film Festival in Florida. It was fantastic, a great little festival, and I'm still friends with two amazing filmmakers I met there. I HIGHLY recommend it; the community there is wonderful.

And then there was the day I found out by word of mouth that "Every Little Girl's Dream" won silver in the student category at Philafilm 2003. This was a joy and a heartbreak. The major city of it and the timing meant I could have gone, and been there, and I didn't even know. The winning of it meant that the people there liked my film. And that just one award meant that "Every Little Girl's Dream" - and by extension, to some extent, me - became "award-winning." It was a bittersweet blessing and a validation that I clung to in my heart.

Fast forward ten years. Or actually, work really, really, really hard for ten long years in Los Angeles.

The school sends an email: They're cleaning out the trophy cases. Do I want the trophy that "Every Little Girl's Dream" won at Philafilm in 2003? I didn't even know there was a trophy.

To the surprise of no one but them, apparently, everyone contacted wants theirs. So a recent graduate drove them across the bottom of the country, and about a month ago, I drove to a production company in Burbank and picked up a trophy for "Every Little Girl's Dream" dated 2003. It's silver, and it says, "Liz Rizzo, Director."

I felt a little silly. A little humbled, ten years later, to be picking up this trophy which couldn't help but make me consider how far and how not far I've come. Where I'm at today. My level of filmic accomplishment. My continued obscurity. My increasing ability.

So much hard work. Hard times, good times. I don't know that it matters, really; I'm still going and I certainly don't intend to stop. I don't know that this trophy means anything more but that a film I directed ten years ago was liked and admired by some (brilliant!) people I never met. But I felt a little... awed by it. By how much I wanted it. By how much it meant to me. By how it illuminated for me the still here, still working-ness of my life, and who I am. By how much happiness it brought me to hold it for the first time in my hands.

Thank you, PhilaFilm. So much.

Young women at the front desk as I pick up a ten-year-old trophy for short little film from long ago. "Just the one?" she asks.

Just the one. That's all it takes.

Do Nothing For Approval: A Letter To My Younger Self

This is a letter to a 26-year old girl who sat on a beach in Boca Raton, and faced for the first time that the path she was on was right for everyone around her except for the person who mattered most: herself. She looked into the Atlantic Ocean and thought, What do *I* want? And so began a journey from a called-off wedding in South Florida, to film school in Tallahassee, and finally to a creative life working in the entertainment industry in Los Angeles.

Every time I spot the Pacific Ocean now, I'm still a little surprised it's on the wrong side.

Fifteen years later, I could tell that girl that she'll still be working on the question: What do *you* want? She'll still fight the urge to subjugate her own desires and opinions, and to fit into societal norms, working to get up every day and make the choices that make sense to her.

Knowing and owning what you want is a lot easier in your 40s, but the desire for approval is harder to shake off. After all, we're raised to seek it, from our parents, our teachers, our friends. It can lead to good grades; it can lead to illegal drug use. Approval is powerful stuff.

And let me be clear: when it's healthy (and legal!) there's nothing wrong with enjoying approval when it comes. It's great when you do something and people love it and they love you for it. It's a blessing to be able to welcome that.

But, I'd urge her not to do things *just* to gain approval. Because what's going to happen is that sometimes what she knows is right isn't going to be the popular choice. The earlier she gets comfortable with that, the more successful she will be.

What does SHE want? She needs to ask herself, and respect the answer. It can be amazingly difficult to hear, particularly if you've developed what I call "hostess syndrome," where you put everyone else's needs above your own.

At age 26, that girl hadn't yet discovered film school, but it was right around the corner, first at Palm Beach Community College, and then at Florida State University. Being a director would require a diversity of skills. Many will come naturally; some we're still working on. That's the beauty of directing: the challenges and the opportunities for learning never end.

Neither does that child inside who wants to be approved of. She'll always be there, and that's okay. Other people's needs and opinions are important, and filmmaking is a team sport. You don't ever want to get to the place where no one will tell you anything that you need to hear. But as the director whom everyone's counting on to do an exceptional job, she'll have to learn to figure out what she needs.

After that, it's a matter of prioritizing. She'll need to pick her battles wisely.

On our last film short project, the challenge was deciding if a large, on-set monitor, which allows the director to see both the shot and the performance simultaneously, was necessary. Cost: $150 for the weekend, a lot of money in a tight little budget.

The young woman inside still wants to say, "Oh, it's okay, we can cut that. I can make do." She's said it before. The adult director, however, must know that it's needed, prioritize it appropriately, and insist.

Later, the decision will meet with approval. Good decisions often work that way, but not always. And sometimes she'll be wrong. A director makes decisions all day, and must keep working to get as many of them right as possible. She'll spend the rest of her life learning to forgive herself for the bad ones. She'll have to get a little comfortable with that part, too.

All I can tell her is that at least it begins to feel familiar.

I love this quote from Andy Warhol: "Don't think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it's good or bad. While they are deciding, make even more art." She'll keep believing in her art, in what she sees in her head and feels in her gut.

Now? She won't do it for approval. She'll do it for herself.

This post is part of BlogHer's Success Tips For My Younger Self editorial series, made possible by Kaplan.

Filmmaking with a Full-Time Job

December 2012 was the first time I thought to myself, Maybe I Can't Do This. I turned my mind in a direction it had never gone and wondered what if. What if I wasn't working on directing anymore?

The irony is that I've finally starting making scheduling choices and having opportunities so that slowly but surely I *am* directing more. But with the opportunity of "Zero Sight: Bad Call" I found a small voice inside my head wondering, What if this is as far as you can go? What if nothing comes next? What if you blow this one, How will there ever be another? What if you rock this one, How will there ever be another?

January 2013 was the first time I thought to myself, OK, I CAN Do This. I am getting it. I am finally getting better at shot design and previsualization to add to all the aspects of directing I take more naturally to. I'm getting the pre-pro process better than ever before. Slowly. Painfully. It felt like I could feel the new neural connections forming as I worked my ass off. It was an amazing relief.

And then I went back to work. And then I realized with a new clarity that 80% of my angst, my doubt, comes from having to do the work of filmmaking while working a 40-hour a week job. It's really fucking hard. I had started feeling better the minute my vacation time started and I could focus fully on the short. That was what made the difference in my mind set.

It wasn't as hard in some ways when I was an assistant. But unemployed at 39/40, I found I couldn't get those jobs anymore in the entertainment industry. And there were negatives there, too. So now I'm a project coordinator. It's much more technical, and often I feel completely mentally wiped out at the end of a day. Cue the second shift! Zzz...

And I really like my job. I like working in audio post, I like the people, I like the work and the business, I like my health insurance, and I can't be creative when I'm afraid of losing my apartment and not being able to pay my bills. It affected me in film school, because I couldn't work, and I was always afraid about money as I put every fourth month completely on credit cards. Plus, I'd worked since I was 16, and two years of no income often left me hardly able to function from the fear.

Unemployment was like living through that again.

So I am very grateful for my job. And coming out of unemployment, I recognized that I had to start making different decisions about my time so that I was directing more. I was so eager to be directing again after the dark years. In 2012, I did a lot less blogging, a lot less going out - both for fun and for filmmaking education - and a lot more filmmaking. It was amazing. And it was exhausting.

And I thought deep in my soul, What if I can't do this anymore? I'm so fucking tired of working this hard all the time. What the hell am I doing? How can I keep living this way? I'm making better decisions. I don't have kids or other commitments, I've pared my monthly expenses down and down, I've pared my schedule down, I'm getting sleep and exercise and good food. All there is is my day job and filmmaking, and it's still so fucking hard.

And then I stood on the fullest set I've had as a director in a long time surrounded by beautiful creative people working their asses off for the story that I had fought to bring this far. And I remembered.

I remembered that all the work and all the sacrifice is for the moment I'm watching the magic on the screen. The moments I am fully focused on that story and all the pieces that come together to make it happen.

It's hard. It's ever ellusively beyond my abilities to do it perfectly. It's a never-ending, fantastic challenge that filmmakers do as part of a creative team. It's so unbelievably fun and amazing.

It's the reason I get up in the morning.

And so, coming off of the "Zero Sight: Bad Call" shoot, I felt like, Wow, I am so ready for a longer shoot. One week, two, three. That would be SO awesome, and such an opportunity to move forward in my skill set.

And then I got back to work, looked at my remaining vacation time, and wondered how. And stuffed my heart back into the cubicle box, and wondered how. And realized my car ignition needs to be checked out, and I'll be carless and biking if it breaks, and wondered how.

And then I got some sleep. And let it go. And put my mind back to the post production work in front of me. That for which I get paid, and that for which I don't. It's like a net, post production. It's where I like to land.

I don't know what's next. I don't know when I'll stand on set directing again, and I don't know how it'll work with my day job.

But I don't have to know right now, right this second. I just have to do the good work that's in front of me to do to the best of my abilities.

And I do so now with a renewed sense of purpose. I am a director. And so I will continue to work to get what opportunities I can and to knock whatever's in front of me out of the park. So often in the past year I've had moments where I've felt like, It's Too Much. And when that happens, I remember that the solution is to simply click it up a notch. When it seems like too much work, I simply adjust my mind set to that level. As long as I'm making good choices, then the work level in front of me is the work level that must be done.

It's a good life, lived as I wish. For that I feel forever blessed.

The shoot went awesome, by the way! I can't wait to see it all come together, and I can't wait to share it with you. Soon, soon!

Friending the Fear Demon

I spent large part of December scared out of my mind. After a year of super low-budget shooting, I'd scored an opportunity to direct a film short for Stage 5 TV's YouTube show, The Continuum. I had a fantastic script and a great producer. And I found myself fighting paralyzing fear. The kind that finds you sitting on your couch watching too much TV because to turn away means facing the terrifying fear sitting right next to you.

Of course, I sat there watching relevent content and thinking about shot design. We had hugely successful casting, attaching wonderful actors I can't wait to work with. Meetings with our wonderful crew. The work got done.

But the fact that this was such a cool opportunity - and perhaps because of the great script, cast, producer, crew, I was frequently feeling very blocked by fear. And not even some exotic type of fear, either. This was straight up fear of failure and self-doubt.

And the answer is always to do the work. What's in front of you to do? Do that.

But I would come home and sit on my couch, and there it was, my new unwanted companion.

It was already subsiding when I sat across a table sipping coffee with a good friend and described it as a giant monster who left me frozen, unable to think. Once I got closer to the shoot, my inner director kicked in, and to some extent the fear falls away. Or my focused energy simply takes up all the space in my head. I still marvel at the first day I was on set directing at film school and realized who I am when I'm there, what directing awakens in me.

But back to the giant monster on my couch.

The very next day after I described my fear as a giant monster, I read this on Tiny Buddha in a post called How To Believe In Yourself In The Face Of Overwhelming Self-Doubt:

Before, I imagined self-doubt as a life-sucking monster. Now, I realize it’s actually a fearful, angry, and lost creature secretly crying for help.

I was blown away that I had *just* described my fear as a monster the day before!

Now, it's important to the story to note that I've been watching a lot of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, because the pacing and the tone are similar to my upcoming film short, Zero Sight: Bad Call. And so the moment I read those words, I knew.

I knew that Overwhelming Fear of Failure was the Fear Demon, featured in the season 4 episode, Fear Itself. I don't want to tell you the whole episode, but ultimately, the Fear Demon's bark is worse than his bite. It's available on HuluPlus, you should totally check it out.

What I love about the post on Tiny Buddha is that the author, Melissa Ng, goes on to say:

Like fear, joy, and sadness, doubt is part of human nature, and it needs understanding. If you want to improve yourself, you need to tame your self-doubt, not fight with it. That means paying attention to how you react to things, understanding the root of your insecurities, and taking steps to address your fears.

So, the Fear Demon isn't a monster to defeat - although that certainly made a satisfying ending to the Buffy episode - instead he just needs a little love and understanding. We don't have to be scared just 'cause he's trying to bust up the party. That's just how he do.

I decided right then and there to keep him right where I could see him, on my project notebook. "Who's a little fear demon? Come on. Who's a little fear demon?"

As an epilogue, the next day I attended the "8th Annual Focus On Female Directors" at the Egyptian in Hollywood. I've been many times, as I love short films and it's always exceptionally curated. The panel was asked to share their biggest challenge on their projects, and director Jill Soloway shared that with every project she faces self-doubt.

My good friend and actress, Kerry Hite, who will play The Woman in Zero Sight: Bad Call, turned to me and said, "Do you feel better now?"

And I do. I really do.

Resolved for 2013: Break Some Rules and Kick Some Ass

Last year and last year's resolution were a rousing success! In 2012 I resolved to:

1. Ask for what I need.
2. Accept what others can give.
3. Give what and whenever I can.

It may seem a bit silly, but having this resolution really empowered me when I would shirk from asking for things that I needed. I would think, "Ask for what I need, ask for what I need", and I would just do it, often to positive response. Items 2&3 come naturally to me, and followed organically from item 1.

Last year I got the air conditioning fixed in my car, got caught up on medical and dental appointments, completed my bankruptcy, got a cyst removed from my wrist, and worked a full year at the same day job for the first time since 2008.

I also was on set as director for 8 days, a record since I moved to L.A. in 2002. I directed:

• Trojan Fun Pack Commercial
• Missing Miranda Kickstarter Spots
• An episode of an upcoming web series called "WRNG"
• Sasha's scenes

In super low-budget indie filmmaking, trust me, there's a lot of needs and asking.

It was a challenging year, a catch-up year, and yet at the same time I managed to moved forward in multiple significant ways. I was feeling a little wiped out going into December, but I used some vacation days to relax and be constructive, and I find myself starting January with a significant shoot on the schedule and a refreshed body and soul.

Huzzah!

My 2013 resolution came to me in a flash while I was thinking about my directing in the past year. I did a fair bit of guerilla filmmaking in 2012. It doesn't come naturally, and it's a BIG challenge for me to break rules.

There's a shot in my FSU thesis film, Every Little Girl's Dream, with a large clump of Spanish moss in the foreground. You can see it at 11:16. At the time, I wouldn't move it because you're not supposed to disturb Spanish moss in Florida. But The Shot! The Shot!

I'm all about the acting and the art department and the writing and on and on, but The Shot is so important in filmmaking. In 2013, I'm going to be working hard on my visuals to push my filmmaking forward.

I'm certainly not telling you to disturb Spanish moss in Florida, but these days this filmmaker's been breaking some rules. It doesn't come naturally, and it disturbs my inner Girl Scout deeply, but I'm giving myself permission to break some more, because I seriously need to start kicking some ass. In super low-budget indie filmmaking, trust me, there's some rule breaking.

I'm looking forward to another challenging year, and I am so grateful for the opportunities in front of me and the incredibly talented people beside me. I truly believe that together, we're going to kick some ass.

2013. We're teenagers now, Millenium People! Let's start breaking some rules.

Coming Soon: "Zero Sight: Bad Call"

When I FINALLY found a new, stable full-time job in October 2011, I gave myself the first few months to learn about my new position, settle into a new daily environment, and get through the holidays. It was a good season and that December I took my usual "month off." Meaning, in December I usually take what to me feels like a vacation: I just work my day job.

And then in January, I was off and running. I had some amazing experiences during my long un-and-under-employment, and I had various projects in development, but I hadn't been able to direct anything. Since I started the new job, I've been feeling incredibly motivated to get my shit going again, for lack of a better way to put it.

So, for the past year, I've been simultaneously getting through personal business - like finally getting cavities filled and getting the air conditioning fixed in my car - and I've been directing. I've been really fortunate this year to get to jump into some cool projects, including the "Missing Miranda" Kickstarter Campaign and an upcoming web series called WRNG.

And now, I've been incredibly blessed with a cherry on top. I've been greenlit to direct a short for Stage 5 TV's YouTube show, The Continuum. It's an amazing anthology show that releases a new, beautiful film short each week. And the best part is, that the writer of my unproduced web series, Zero Sight, Michael Patrick Sullivan, wrote a free-standing film short based in the same universe called "Zero Sight: Bad Call", and that's the short that was greenlit.

So I am over-the-moon.

And incredibly challenged to knock it out of the park.

For "Zero Sight: Bad Call" is an ambitious project for the budget and schedule. Multiple locations, a robust cast, and limited resources.

My challenge right now is that I have to navigate the line between working on the production and working on the direction. I have a wonderful producer on board, and we are working to build the team and solve the various production issues. I'm not going to lie. It's kept me up at night on occasion.

And so, I've begun, slowly, to think of the directing work as my refuge. My solace. My most important time spent.

And I've cleared my schedule, and I'm saving every penny - little though I have - to add to the production. We're shooting in January, and I intend to live and breath this baby from now through the first quarter of 2013. I intend to do the absolute best that I can do within the given constants.

It's been a long, full year. An amazing year.

So who needs a "month off" when there's awesomeness to direct?! We're diving in, and we're not coming up until we've hit awesome.

That's Some Kinda Bucket List

I was filing away some papers recently when I found a list of life goals I made a few years ago. It's clipped to a prioritization grid a friend had given me to do as an exercise. Because these are the kinds of things L.A. friends get excited about and share: Prioritization Grids. It's pretty hot.

I'm pretty good with short-term stuff. I like to look at my available options at any given time, pick one and go. It's more productive in the day-to-day to do what you can rather than spend your time banging on closed doors or wanting to be somewhere you're not. We are where we are, after all, and I for one am having a blast.

But it's a good exercise to sometimes think about the future, the big picture. Spending some time dreaming big can help you make the right choices as you go. And dreaming big is clearly what I decided to do when I made this list, which starts:

1. Direct a feature film

2. Direct an episode of television

I remember that I paused here. A moment of, what else could there possibly be? Then I decided to go for broke:

3. Finish a screenplay that rocks

4. Buy a Lexus

5. Visit Wales

6. Visit Louisianna

7. Have a kick-ass home theater system

8. Learn Spanish

9. Attend the Oscars

10. Get married

11. Pay off my student loan

12. Donate something supercool to FSU Film School

13. Truly consider living in the Broadway Building on Vine

I never did go back and prioritize them.

Reading this list made me smile. It's such a picture of me, such a mix of dreams and more practical desires, and a few years later, I still love all these things. I will only add two items:

14. Have an investment account

15. Buy an investment property

One big thing has changed however, and that is that I no longer have an urgent sense of desire attached to these things. Any of them will make me totally joyous when I get there, but I am also joyous about my life and the things in it right now, every day.

I still dream of a year where I direct eight episodes of one-hour episodic and work my ass off, but banging at that door, or feeling bad that I can't even get to the door, has lost interest for me. I'm directing an amazing film short in the next few months. I'm already losing myself into that world, and I can't wait to pull a creative team together and work together to bring it you. I'm working every day towards my goals, working towards a profitable writing/directing business. Meanwhile, I have space of my own, food on my table, good friends, and good work to do every day. I am so blessed.

It occurs to me that castles in the sky are supposed to be luminous and pretty. Not dark and taunting.

And so I'll share one of my favorite quotes, which has sat one one desk or another of mine for many, many years:

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.  --Louisa May Alcott

May your dreams inspire you, and may every day bring you joy.

The Illusive Flip HD To Final Cut Express Workflow

Skip the bloggy stuff and take me straight to the workflow!

Around 2009/2010 I acquired two things: A Flip HD video camera and a copy of Final Cut Express. The Flip HD I came by through my relationship with Nintendo. I believe it was a party for Wii Party, which btw is a game that seems a little cheesy at first and then you find yourself pulling it out and having far more fun with it than you ever expected. I find Wii Play to be the same. (Full disclosure: I was given Wii Party, and I bought Wii Play.)

I purchased Final Cut Express because I learned how to edit on "real" editing systems, and the various iMovies, at least at the time, made me feel like someone just handed me a butter knife on my way into surgery. I also figured that learning Final Cut Express would be a gateway to more knowledge of Final Cut Pro, which turned out to be only partially true, but still worth it. And of course, it was what I could afford and install on my system.

Except. These two things, Flip HD and Final Cut Express, do not play well together.

At the time, for a brief moment, I felt like, Finally! I have a camera, and I have an editing system! Now maybe I can shoot and edit and improve my skills. I finally have these tools to help me move forward as a director.

(It should be noted, however, that I vastly prefer to work with an editor and always will despite any increase in my editing expertise. While being a director/editor is a valuable skill that will get you places, it's a bit like cutting off your arms to fit through a doorway. Filmmaking is a team sport, and the editor - a separate editor who is not also the director - is always one of the MVPs that EVERY director is better off with than without. /end rant)

Anyway, I was quickly foiled back then, and no amount of Googling seemed to help. I couldn't get Flip HD footage into Final Cut Pro without evil rendering bars, and I couldn't get it out at a reasonable file size and the correct aspect ratio. I figured there had to be a way, but at the time I couldn't get it to work, it was a rare problem no one else seemed to be working on, and I moved on to other things.

Until the Missing Miranda Kickstarter campaign. When we realized that we weren't catching any steam with our character vignettes, we thought that we should try to shoot something else that might get us some traction. I'd already dusted off my Final Cut Pro to (roughly) cut "Favorite Moments in 'Missing Miranda'", so we decided that some of the onscreen talent would go out and ask people on the street, "What's your favorite romantic comedy?" and I would cut it together as best I could. And the Flip HD is what we had to shoot on.

I knew I could get it done one way or another, but I also thought I'd take the opportunity to try again to develop a viable work flow. Honestly, I can hardly believe I actually did it. And I'm pretty sure I'm still the only one who cares. But nonetheless, I give you:

The Illusive Flip HD to Final Cut Express Workflow

Skip the workflow and take me to the rest of the bloggy stuff!

1. The first step is get the Flip Footage into the right format, which is Quicktime using the Apple Intermediate Codec at 1280x720 at a 29.97 frame rate. For this I use MPEG Streamclip, a free video converter program from Squared 5. I got this step from MrTammik on YouTube, so I will leave it to him:

2. Next, open a new project in Final Cut Express. In Easy Setup off the first pull down menu, make sure your settings are:

• Format: HD
• Rate: 29.97
• Use: HDV-Apple Intermediate Codec-720p30

With that you should be able to import your converted clips into Final Cut and they should not need to be rendered as you use them in your timeline. Whew!

3.Cut your project.

4. When you're ready to export, go to File, Export, Quicktime Movie. Your settings are:

• Include: Audio And Video
• Markers: None
• And do check the box for Make Movie Self-Contained

This makes a very beautiful, very large QuickTime file so you're likely to be tempted to try going to File, Export, Using Quicktime Conversion. I've tried numerous options here with no success. The aspect ratio is always effed.

5. So, now we have to compress our way too large Quicktime for upload to the Internet. And clearly, we'd like it to stay the correct aspect ratio and not look smooshed. For this, I use VisualHub. (Lion updater here.) VisualHub is a bad-ass sanity saver. You can easily set the aspect ratio, and there's even a field for keeping the video with a certain number of MB if necessary. Start by simply dragging your file into Visual Hub.

At the top of the main window, choose MP4, quality as you desire (I use High), and check the box for H.264 Encoding.

Under the advanced settings your settings are:

• Size: 1280 x 720
• Bitrate: 5000
• Deinterlace should be unchecked
• Fit your video with a certain number of MB if required
• Audio at 44100 Hz
• Audio Bitrate: 384
• Channels: Auto

Then simply hit start back on the main window and wait. When it's done you should have a Quicktime of a more reasonable size that still looks and sounds good. Flip HD Video to Final Cut Express Workflow, hooray!

~

So, now I have a camera and an editing system. And... no hard drive space. While working on this post I cropped a video I took of my friend Joseph Marble playing The March of the King of Laois on the bagpipes at Echo Park Rising this year, and when I went to export from Final Cut I got the dreaded "not enough hard drive space" message I knew was rapidly becoming inevitable. And the new external hard drive I bought this year for my various projects and that I use for back-up is full, full, full, especially after I had to move some stuff there from my computer so I could finish the bagpipe video.

I've been trying to run my writing/directing business smarter this year. With my blogging income decreasing there was a chance I'd get a paid directing gig this year, but that opportunity didn't materialize. I've been much more conservative with my business spending, but going into the fourth quarter, I've not made a profit. So, I'm not making any business purchases I can avoid for the rest of the year. I'm holding off on my Film Independent membership renewal, for example. And no new hard drives.

I'm spending the last few months of the year getting organized, closing some projects out, and prepping for next year. I'm due to hear about a short film pitch in November that will have me off and running on something new and exciting (and funded!) if I get it, so there's really only a few weeks of calm with any luck.

But next year I'm also going to try to shoot some videos I can put up on YouTube and monetize. My silly standard def vlog video "How To Pop Popcorn On The Stove" finally earned $100, so that was some cool income this year. And I really want to shoot a music video or two. Maybe another spec commercial if I get any ideas. (Have you seen my Trojan Fun Pack Commercial?) Of course, some things you can monetize, and some you can't. I definitely need to shoot some things I can monetize. Obviously, shooting the other things is about increasing skills and content and the chance of paid directing work.

Anyway, cracking the nut of this work flow is a pretty awesome accomplishment for me this year, and one which I will put to good use. And I hope this post helps anyone ever besides me. But... it probably won't.