Everyday Goddess

Before I write, I light a candle.

My first writing candle was from Bath & Bodyworks, and it was called "Serenity." I discovered it in film school and would light it when I was writing. Was it the cedarwood and clary sage that focused my thoughts, opened my mind, and sent my fingers tapping across the keys? Or did I simply trained myself to respond to the sent? Either way, the candle is lit, and writing occurs.

When Serenity was discontinued and my stash had burned up, I discovered Old English Clary Sage candles from Pacifica. They were wonderful, and they did the trick. When Wax Poetic didn't have them anymore, I did some research online and discovered that they are discontinued. Down to one votive, I looked for Clary Sage candles online.

But then I discovered this from Bonzai Aphrodite: Homemade Holidays: Crock Pot Candles (h/t Lifehacker). And I'm thinking, maybe I should just make my own candles. I mean I know exactly what I want and why pay someone to mix ingredients when I can just whip these up in the crock pot? Of course, I was hoping it would prove more cost effective as well. Here's how the ingredients broke down:

I decided to stick with a similar size as the instructions, so I picked up six little glasses at IKEA called Pokal for $2.99. Michael's was out of soy wax - SIGH - so I got 2 lbs. of Yaley Creme Wax for $12.99. I used about a quarter of it, so that's $3.25. I sprung for teal wax dye for $2.29, but used only say 20%ish, so say $.50. Here's a pic of the wax and dye I used:

And here's the first wax fill:

The wicks were $2.99 and I used half, so say $1.50. I purchased Aura Cacia clary sage essential oil for $13.39 for .5 fl oz and Texas cedarwood essential oil for $3.99. Also, a one-time purchase of bottle and dropper for $2.99. And I imagine I can use the glasses again.

Now, the cedarwood is POTENT. So I mixed the entire bottle of clary sage oil with 5 drops of the cedar wood. Needless to say, that little inexpensive bottle of cedarwood is going to last a while. I used about half of my mixture, putting 15 drops in each candle, but next time I think I'll divide the whole bottle among the six cups, because the scent came out very light. So say $13.50 for the oil.

So leaving out the dropper bottle, but including the cups which I may reuse, the total cost was $21.74, which means that each of these cuties were $3.62 each:

Lastly, when they were fully dried I noticed that most of them had a little dip in them, but as you can see from the one I burned already, it flattens out.

And even as small as they are, I'm on my third lighting of that one while I write this and it's not half gone, so all in all I'm thinking that this is a cost effective, fun, and easy way to make my own writing candles! I'm very pleased.

Finally, check out this awesome project on Bonzai Aphrodite: Reusable ‘Java Jackets’. Totally want to make some of those at some point.

Star Lights

So one thing about my apartment is that it doesn't get much natural light. Good for the thermostat; bad for when I want light. Today I moved my floor lamp to the couch side of the apartment, which was remarkably effective. It seems that I had the light in the wrong place before. Now the floor lamp lights up the couch, and that's a vast improvement.

But I do need a light on the other side so that when I flip the hallway switch in the morning as I stumble to the kitchen where the coffee comes from, there's some sort of light coming on.

The light I'd planned to get at IKEA turned out to require hard wiring. And I hated every other lamp they had. Well, there was one floor lamp I liked, but it was $50 plus bulbs, which was more than I wanted to pay right now. Plus, I really wanted something that would mount on the wall.

Also Please Note that yes, I went to IKEA All By Myself. There was only one moment where I got a little turned around and couldn't see how to exit and had a slight moment of discomfort, but I figured it out and I was OK. Whew. Tell me I'm not the only one who has nightmares about navigating IKEA.

Anyway, I ended up with these star lights, $6 each on clearance (because somehow black stars are holiday decorations):

Here's how it looks from my couch:

You can't replace the bulbs so no telling how long they'll last.  And I don't know... Fun or Not Fun?

A Return to Healthy Living. Feels Good.

2009 was many amazing things, but one thing it wasn't was healthy time. I gained 10 lbs when I surely would have preferred to be losing it. I don't even want to think about muscle mass.

As the year winds down, I've been slowly returning to healthier habits. That one pint of ice cream aside.

Having my own apartment helps A LOT. I've always worked out hard at home, and certainly in front of boyfriends, but found myself too self-conscious when I had a roommate who was home when I was. I love love love my workout tapes, and it is great to be finally moving around my apartment again. I'm getting back into it slowly, but surely. Being strong is so important to me; I always feel better when I'm working my muscles regularly at any level.

I went for a bike ride, and it was glorious. More for sure.

And I've been slowly returning to my South Beach diet and more frequent vegetarian eating. For a while after the breakup I was doing some comfort food therapy (hence ice cream in my house). And it's the holidays, so certainly I'm going to indulge a little more before the year is through. I'm looking forward to making lots of gingerbread and Mexican wedding cookies this weekend, plus a brisket AND noodle kugel.

But I've also been cooking up some healthy goodness in my new kitchen, and thank goodness for it. I'm definitely feeling stronger lately. I even tried to create a new recipe, with very fair to middlin' results. I under cooked my shallots, sigh.

 

I'm hoping (planning?) to do South Beach phase one in January. The over-achiever in me wants to say I'm going to do phase one for THE WHOLE MONTH, but I think that's unrealistic, so I'm thinking I'll focus on the two weeks starting January 4th. I think it will be a good cleanse and strong start to the new year.

Healthy living. I'm back.

I'm back! I think.

It's been a challenging last few months. Between unemployment, heartbreak, and moving, I've had multiple days where I felt like I was barely hanging on, and through it all, I couldn't call in sick, couldn't take a personal day, and certainly couldn't drop any important balls. Thankfully, I could close my office door, and to be honest, that was totally huge in the making-it-through department. That I could simultaneously suffer and get my work done without witness.

Am I out the other end? Well, I'll be unemployed again in March. I've at least gotten to a point where I'm accepting that the heartbreak is for real, but I'm still feeling like I got hit by a car.

But, I am at least fully moved and unpacked. And hopefully I will reclaim my inbox today. And answer blog comments. And write up a book review I've been wanting to get to forever. And maybe get out and spend time with some friends. Maybe not all of that, but some of it, surely.

I'm going to have to pay the Cobra payment one more time for my health insurance, but I'm closing in on an individual plan. There's a wrinkle in the security deposit return from my old apartment, but I'm figuring that out, and soon that money will go where it needs to go.

I *finally* had a day off where I did nothing but sit on my couch and mourn the breakup. Ug.

The worst in ages, because I was so in love with him and so happy to be with him and I really thought he loved me, too...

But what can one do but move on? At whatever pace.

Ah, it's all just so melodramatic. I painfully bore myself with my own melodrama.

Blech. Truly.

Right now, a great, new thing in my life is my new apartment. Amy wanted to see pictures, and since room shots would bore me, here are a few of my favorite things:

My new space has me lighting my candles, exercising, reading, watching movies, getting to my work. Good things, true.

Still, I miss him everyday. I can't believe he didn't want to spend this whole, glorious long weekend having fun with me.

But he didn't.

So I've got no choice but to find my way back to somewhere. Somehow.

I'm down to two piles and multiple projects.

I could not possibly need a personal day more, emotionally and personal work-wise. And I'm not going to get one, so I just keep plugging along.

The unpacking is down to a giant pile next to my desk, much of which won't fit into that area, so another puzzle. And a pile in my bedroom of stuff to be jigsawed into my small closet.

I got a ton of things done this weekend, including clearing both tables, organizing my tool box, opening all remaining boxes, putting up some posters, putting up the sash in my bedroom that blocks out light around the verticals, and running the phone cable to the Tivo so that it doesn't run across the floor. Garbage out, laundry done.

And then a door knob fell off. So that's fun.

Undone projects include a major run to the thrift store and selling some stuff on Craig's List. I have to break into the box and see what I've got and what condition it's in. And then there's my inbox which completely escaped me while I was moving and my DSL was down. Just beginning to dip my toe into that. And I'm getting these empty boxes out of my house this week, thank goodness. Yes, to a new use with other friends.

There were two major items on my to do list this weekend that I didn't get to, but all-in-all I think I did pretty good.

I can see most of my floor at least.

Well, it's a good thing there's another weekend between my move and Thanksgiving.

I got a lot of unpacking done this weekend, but took two big breaks. On Saturday I went shopping & ran errands, and on Sunday I met with my writers/creative group. The new apartment is slightly smaller than the old one, so most of the fit-stuff-in puzzles are slightly different. The closets are the same, but under the sinks is just slightly smaller. I still have some major projects left to do.

Still, I'm pretty pleased at what I did get done. In particular, the bathroom, kitchen, and armoire are going to make this week much more livable than last. Much thanks to my ex for helping with the fridge door and the shower caddy.

Now if only I'd done laundry...

And let's not even talk about my inbox since the DSL came through. Oy vey.

The Move

The move upstairs and across the hall kicked my ass. It's been over six years since I moved last, and I remember being a powerhouse. Making it happen.

Well, I made it happen - with seriously awesome couldn't-have-done-it-without-them help from some friends on the Saturday and the Sunday - but it felt harder. Granted, I only took 3 hours off from work for the entire move, and life is a mess right now, but still, it felt harder. It took all day both days of the weekend.

But, it's done. The moving anyway. The unpacking kicks into high gear this weekend, and here's hoping that I'm just as much of a powerhouse, even if it hurts. I'm over the moon about hosting Thanksgiving at my place again this year, so I'm using that as inspiration to get my place in immediate order.

I, in my brilliance, having never moved DSL, didn't call until the Friday... And it is taking Earthlink TWELVE DAYS to move my service upstairs and across the hall, so I probably won't post again until next week.

Who needs boxes when you've got seven years of free bags?

I slipped financially towards the end of my unemployment. Add Cobra health insurance and a pending security deposit, and you've got mega financial suck. When my roommate told me she was moving, I felt like I just couldn't do the roommate thing again. Plus, the economy's killing me, but it's also bringing rent prices down in L.A. I felt like now was the time to push and get my own place. Extra hundreds per month be damned.

But, I also couldn't imagine doing a full move to a new apartment. With the new job and the giant commute, finding a new place seemed impossible, and then renting a truck, loading a truck, unloading a truck. Driving back and forth. It's a lot, and it's not free.

I needed my move to cost basically nothing, and I needed it to be something I could handle right now with everything that's going on in my life. And I like where I live, except for one thing - facing the freeway.

So I'm moving to a 1-bedroom in my complex. That doesn't face the freeway. And even though I wish I could, the only boxes I've bought is one pack of ten cheapy file boxes from Staples that I always get to move my files and keep them in order. They are great, and I wanted to get another pack... But seriously, I need this move to cost basically nothing. Thankfully, I got donations of boxes from a variety of friends, including a healthy stash from my roommate who moved earlier in the month. Still, I needed more. More!

And I didn't want to buy them.

Solution to the last of my books? Bags. Oh yeah, you know I've got a stash of shopping bags.

And I had some paper grocery bags around, too. I give you, my bathroom:

I've gotten a ton done, but I am stressed about getting everything upstairs and getting the old apartment clean. Normally, I'd take a full day off from work, but as a temp, no work = no pay, so I'm only taking a 1/2 day to get a giant cashier's check on my last payday of the month and sign the lease and stuff. I've got a friend coming on Saturday to help me move loose stuff, like what's in the closets, and then on Sunday - THANK GOODNESS - I have friends coming to help with the furniture and boxes (and book bags). THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

I've been cleaning and packing like a mad woman, so I'm getting through it. The patio (freeway dust is disgusting) and the oven (so are burnt almonds) were two big projects that are done, so that's good. The carpet, my bathroom, and spackling the walls remain.

I'm getting there.

And I can't believe I'm going to be in my own place. I'm going to have to make some difficult financial choices, and I need to jump right on finding a more financially viable health insurance option, but wow, my own place.

My own place my own place my own place.

Wow.

I'm totally going to end up buying boxes.

Well, technically I already did, because I always buy files boxes when I move to move my files from my filing cabinet. But I'm going to need some small, sturdy book boxes, and I just don't have time to go box hunting.

I'm moving at the end of the month. Up one floor from where I am now.

Thing is, you've still got to pack some stuff. Slow and steady wins the race? Here's hoping...

 

Oh, and when I pulled my weights out - which in the new place will be out and put to use once again - they literally had cobwebs on them. So sad.

But at least they were in the Halloween spirit!

Catch a Tiger by the Tail

In "Life of Pi " there is a part where, confronted by the sheer impossibility of surviving at sea with a tiger on his lifeboat, Pi realizes that he might as well go about trying to quench his thirst.

You might think that I lost all hope at that point. I did. And as a result I perked up and felt much better. We see that in sports all the time, don't we? The tennis challenger starts strong but soon loses confidence in his playing. The champion racks up the games. But in the final set, when the challenger has nothing left to lose, he becomes relaxed again, insouciant, daring. Suddenly he's playing like the devil and the champion must work hard to get those last points. So it was with me. To cope with a hyena seemed remotely possible, but I was so obviously outmatched by Richard Parker that it wasn't even worth worrying about. With a tiger aboard, my life was over. That being settled, why not do something about my parched throat?

I decided that I needed a tiger. Something big and unwieldy that would dominate my life, forcing simplification into my decisions. Being me, my tiger is a 6-month studio office gig with overtime and a giant L.A. commute.

I had ten things on a to do list for last night, after being out on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. I got two of them done before I collapsed into bed for the sleep I simply must get to be able to perform well in my new position: I stopped for gas on the way home, and I wrote my BlogHer post. I didn't stop by the bank, pay bills, write my directing update for September, write a letter to Cobra regarding my health insurance, or clear my inbox. All those things are waiting until Sunday (my next open time) because I've got to respect the tiger. I had to go to bed.

Writing this post was on the list, so I'm doing it this morning instead, but I have a hard computer out in the morning of 7:30am, so if I end abruptly, you'll know why.

I'm going to have to be doing less going out on the weeknights.

I'm going to have many, many times where I simply can't get to the fray that waits on my computer.

I'm going to spend a lot of money at the gas station and Audible.

I'm doing something completely new to me, and hoping for new outcomes, or at least some rewarding focus for the next six months.

And... I'm out.